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Yesterday, I asked my husband to move out...

On November 13, 2013, I asked my husband to move out.

Today, November 14th, 2013, we are looking for furnished apartments to make that possible and he's asking his mom for a loan to help cover the costs.

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Yes, two years ago, this was really happening and he really went through with it.  Except, he ended up in an long-term stay hotel and it lasted about 3 weeks because that's all that we could afford at the time.  Plus, his family was coming for the holidays and I wasn't going to host them alone.

And yes, this happened because he was distracted with his life choices and not the three people that lived under the same roof as him.  And no, it hadn't escalated to the point where it did almost 1.5 years later.

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When like takes a turn and throws a curve ball like this at you, it's hard to recover.  We were forced to come back to one another after a short time away because of financial reasons.  We continue to stay together, for our marriage, for our children, for our investment in one another and because we both want to change to be the people we are meant to be in the eyes of God.  We both want and have God in our hearts and while we are constantly struggling to grow deeper in that relationship, we still have trials and failures that we face daily.

Life isn't easy.  It gets WAY harder as you get older and if you can't trust the person by your side, it's like you have to start over, every day.  And that can really just take the wind out of you.

Daily it's a struggle to be positive about our relationship, our progress, our life, our end result.  But, I'm going to stay here until I can't take it anymore.  I'm running pretty thin, these days.  But it's in God's hands now.  He's got the control on how we move forward.

I have said very clearly that I know I'm supposed to stay as long as I know that he's getting help, he's being accountable with someone other than me and I feel safe.  So far, he's doing most of those things.  So, I'll stay.

For now.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is so hard to read. God won't make this decision for you any more than he will make your husband respect you, your relationship, or your marriage. I don't think you're teaching your kids good lessons by staying in a relationship that seems so broken. You deserve so much more and so do they. They are watching - everything. You're both teaching them the wrong lessons about love, respect and healthy relationships. I write this not to hurt you ... honestly. I see how broken you appear to be through your words. You DESERVE better. You are worth more than this. You have to be strong for yourself and for your kids. I can't imagine how hard his must be for you ... but staying won't make it easier to leave in the future. I'm so sorry this is all happening and I'm sending you positive love and hugs across the interwebs. xo

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