Skip to main content

Finding my groove...

I've been "off" for a while now.  There have been a steady stream of things that have sort of knocked me off my rocker but like anything in life, I'm bouncing back. 

I've been going through phases of "feeling myself" and feeling "back to normal" and today.  Today, I feel really good.  I don't know why, other than, I've just been trying to find me again.  I've been trying to become comfortable again with my life that I've been given. 

I'm so thankful for my life, really.  But some days, it may not seem that way. 

I let my day to day life eat me up and I'm not intentionally preserving any energy to use at home.  It's actually something that I never really thought about before but about 2 weeks ago, I was ENORMOUSLY strung out.  I told my husband and pastor that while I like to smile... It's exhausting and to have to do it all day, I told them that I actually hated it.  Well, I'm learning that it's actually not a bad thing.  I mean, sure.  There are bad days that come along and I can be grumpy but why not smile through it. 

I've been in such a dark ugly spot for a long time that I forgot what it was like to smile.  And to actually enjoy doing it.  My husband told me months ago that he wished I would would laugh more.  I used to be KNOWN for my laugh and I think people liked having me around because I would laugh at just about anything.  I believe that's because I was happy and I didn't really let much stand in my way.  I just didn't let things bother me and I was happy.

Then life happened and I lost track of what happy felt like and I found new things that made me happy but I think I was still struggling to find that balance of happy and really happy, you know?  Like I was going throught he motions of being happy but wasn't really happy.  Almost like I was putting on a front and just pretending.

Anyway, today, is a good day.  And I'm going to dwell in the fact that I feel good... Ya!

Ecclesiastes 7:8

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.


Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

clomid vs. follistim

(IUI #4)

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "letters, 1", stating:

"what are the statistics on follistim v. clomid or other oral egg-enhancing drugs?"

Before I responded, I went on just to make sure I knew what I was talking about.  {Nothing like going through a medical procedure, thinking you know everything and then letting an Anonymous comment send me off my track. ha!}

Disclaimer: I'm not a dr. nor do I want to be a dr.  This is what I understand to be the difference.  This isn't fact, other than the links I'm posting, it's just my understanding.  Please DO NOT take my words for fact.

This is what I knew before I did the research:

Both Clomid and Follistim are ovary stimulating drugs that tell your ovaries to produce eggs.  They are both in the same in that aspect of things.  The physical difference is that Clomid is in pill form and taken orally.  Follistim is powder to liquid that is administrated by a pen/shot. 

From thi…