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Overcoming a Slump

I have a lot of work to do to get myself on the road to recovery.  These are the big things that I'm really trying to work on and focus on to help me get me back...

1. Medicine.  

I've talked about this on here before.  Basically an antidepressant is not my friend, but adderall is!  It keeps me on track, focused and gives me the stamina to get everything done that I need to get done in a day's time.  I haven't been on it for about 3 weeks which is completely noticeable.  Because it's a controlled substance, my dr cannot send the prescription to the pharmacy for me, nor can they add refills and therefore, I have to pick up the paper prescription each month at an office close to my home which is about 45 minutes from my office that opens after I leave town and closes before I return.  Sooooooo, basically, it's almost impossible to get.  Hence the 3 weeks.

I need my medicine in order to function, period.  I'm going to get it this weekend, but seriously, without it, I suffer.

2. Chores.

I hate chores as much as the next person and they are the first thing that I put off after a long night with the kids and everything else, but I've decided that I just have to suck it up and do them.  I joked with someone the other day about how when you have kids you just do laundry all day long and if I don't do one load a night, I fall behind.  Well, that my friends (all jokes aside), is the God's honest truth.  That's not a load of their laundry a night, that's just anyone's laundry.  I have to do one load a night of some kind of laundry or the house will fall apart.  If I'm not literally running a load, I need to be folding it.

And aside from laundry, I just need to do some kind of chore that I wouldn't normally do in an evening to help make the house function.  We always try to tackle chores on the weekend and then weekends get slammed with plans and then the week starts over again and we don't get anything done.  So, I'm going to really try and just do more everyday and not let laziness get in my way.  Heck, if I accomplish chores during the week, then maybe my weekends can actually serve as lazy family days, as they were intended.

3. Self Improvement.

Like I said in my last post, I've had a role change over the last 3 years that has completely consumed me.  I believe it was for the better, but my husband calls what happened unhealthy, but basically because I was either pregnant or nursing over the last 3 years, I fully committed to being the best parent I would be.  Unfortunately, in return, I killed some friendships, focused on my kids and forgot what I like to do to make myself feel happy, outside of just being with my kids. So, I'm trying to widen my focus and I'm trying to do things for me.

I have plans for dinner, drinks and shopping with some friends that I haven't really spent time with in YEARS in a coming week, I have lunch plans with a friend, I have plans to work out this week that hasn't really happened much over the last 3 weeks and I'm going to make an effort to just have alone time for me.  This weekend I spent about 2 hours by myself going to a few "Shop Local Saturday" craft shows, art shows and local shops in town.  It was great.  I didn't have a time limit, I didn't have to wait on anyone, I could talk to people and vendors as I wished and I actually really enjoyed just being alone and shopping, even though I didn't really buy much.  Still fun to look around and get ideas.

It's a big deal to make sure that through all of this that I remember to do what I enjoy and to make myself happy doing those things and this is something that is going to take a lot of work and time, but doing these things will make it all better in the end.

4. Lists.

Aside from my medicine, this is what makes me completely sane.  I have to write things down.  For so long, I've tried to completely rely on my phone for everything, but I'm still that girl with a "work bag" that brings in here personal items, including a yearly planning appointment calendar and "journal" to write things down on so that I don't forget, DAILY.  If I don't have it, I literally struggle with what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to be.  That doesn't mean that I still don't forget things because I do; I'm human.  But writing things down and making lists cut the things down that I'm supposed to do and that I typically forget, in half.

Someone told me once that I have a really hard time saying 'No' and that's the truth.  I like to do it all and I really try to do it all, but boy can that be exhausting.  Which leads me to my next item...

5. SLOW DOWN.

I know this is something that EVERYONE could work on and I know I'm not alone when I talk about this but... I seriously just need to slow down.  Get things done, focus on a small list of things and let the rest just play out when it plays out...


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Starting here..

I know that I haven't really updated this in a long while. I apologize. In the moments it was hard enough to survive, let alone write about it or find time to write about it.

With that said, I've told people over and over again that I'm going to write again, just not sure where to start.
So, today, I'm starting here.
My mom is terminal.  
Words that I cannot believe have to leave my mouth or my fingers.
She's been battling Ovarian Cancer for well over 10 years and this last year or 8 months+ have been just the worst.  Her body is being consumed by cancer and with every day that passes we are just another closer to losing her.
She's fought this whole time and continues to beat the odds that the doctors have placed before her. She's set goals and surpassed them and when the doctors say something, it's like she mentally tells herself that it's just NOT going to happen and she flies by those measurable items.
She's been a rock star and I have known …