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still breastfeeding

I'm entering my 23rd (almost consecutive) month of breastfeeing.  Crazy.

I'm also rapidly approaching Emerson's 1st birthday.  Also, crazy.

With that said, I've consistently been asked what my plan is for nursing her and if there is an end in site.

Basically, I don't have an end in site and the reason is, I'm not the one in charge.  It's what's best for her and I will continue to do it until she's ready to stop.  When she turns one, my only thoughts are that we'll introduce cow's milk and I will continue to nurse her in the morning and evenings before and after bed.  Aside from that, I plan to just let her drink cow's milk throughout the day and only really nurse during those times.

My reasoning?  Well, have you ever tried to wrestle a wet cat?  That's what it's like to nurse Emie unless she's SUPER tired or has just woken up.  It's a hot mess, there's usually crying involved and we don't get anywhere.  In the morning and in the evening is the only time I can get her to focus and get her to nurse without a lot of romping around.

How long will I let her do that?  Well, it's not about me.  I'll do it until she's ready to give it up.  I'm not really going to put an end time on it.  Yes, she might be 2 by the time I stop nursing at night and in the morning, but to me, that's totally worth it!  I'd love to continue to help her in a way that no other substance out there will.

Will she be old enough to ask to be nursed? Maybe.  Will I stop because I want to stop?  No.  Am I continuing this because I want to or because of her?  Well, both. 

And then the closing question/thought?  What does my husband think about it?  He says that he'll support me with whatever I decide to do and he agrees with the "plan" that I have in place.  He did question whether I was forcing her to continue with the plan that I have in mind or if it was really about her and he now understands that it's all about her.

Nursing is a relationship that I will never be able to replace or continue as soon as it's over.  With Coen, we ended early because my body was trying to grow another baby and feeding 3 babies at one time wasn't working out very well for me and we were forced to quit.  Was it traumatic for Coen? No. Does he even remember nursing? No.  Will he miss it?  No.  Did I miss it and feel bad about cutting him off early?  Yes and I will forever feel that way.

I love nursing my kids and the fact that I can say that I've done that for them for over 23 months is AWESOME!  Completely and utterly awesome (no pun intended).

Feeling thankful.

Comments

J o s e y said…
I SOOO feel ya on this post. Stella was 17.5 months when I abruptly weaned her because I was absolutely drained from this pregnancy, and I'll always regret it, even though I know it was the best decision at the time. I just always had it in my head that SHE would choose when to stop! I'm hoping that I have as good of an experience with BFing this time around with #2, whether it's for 6 months or 2 years and 6 months!
Allison said…
You ARE awesome!!!

I get where you're coming from in pretty much everything you said. I nursed E to 21 months with PLENTY of questions from the time she was 11 months on. And now N is 15.5 months and still nursing 3 times during the day and 2-4 times during the night. And he'll keep nursing until he's done.

Oh, and the distracted nursing...no one tells you about how difficult it can be to nurse a toddler!!!
Kristal said…
Huge accomplishment!! Your kiddos are blessed.

PS - I loved the un intended pun. :)

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