I have issues.

There's no lie about that.  I have a lot of issues.  I'm ADHD, I have postpartum, I have OCD tenancies, which result in being very Type A and all of those combined make for a great big disaster (most of the time)!

All that aside, we are planning a little trip to Florida.  It's just going to be the husband and myself and yes, we are leaving the kids with my parents for this little trip.  We will be going to Disney, but seriously, they won't know any different when it's all said and done.  Plus, we would be TOTALLY INSANE if we took them to Disney this year.  Coen doesn't have a clue about Disney characters and we would only be chasing him around everywhere.  And Emie, she would probably just sleep through the whole thing.

So, we're going.  We're going for 4 (ish) days and 3 nights.  We plan on hitting up Disney, the beach and the pool.  I know, it sounds awful, doesn't it.  Our hope is that we leave some really crappy weather behind and actually get to relax in some really great weather.  One could hope, right?

But, with my Type A personality shining very bright while planning, I couldn't help to start thinking about pumping and what my pumping schedule would look like.  I sent this email to my husband, thinking that he would read it, but lord knows he doesn't really care, he just needs me to figure it out and make it happen.  He'll do whatever he needs to do to help, but in reality, it's up to me.  I know this about him, but I sent it to him anyway.

It looked like this...

I have to write this out, otherwise it will stress me out.

Currently, this is what I do:

3:00am - Feed Emie (only sometimes)

6:30am - Feed Emie (not sure about ounces, but this is a big feeding, usually)

9:30/10:30am - pump (8 to 10 ounces)

12pm/1pm - pump (4 to 6 ounces)

3:30pm/4:30pm - pump (4 to 8 ounces)

6:15pm - Feed Emie (slows down)

8:00pm - Feed Emie (really slow)

10:00pm - Feed Emie (only sometimes)

So, when we go to FL, I have to keep close to this schedule.

Also, this would mean that I would roughly have about 37 ounces, per day, that would pump.  Emie currently eats about 32 ounces per day.

Okay, so planning my milk for when we are gone.

Friday: 2 to 3 bottles = 12 ounces (3 bags)

Saturday: 7 to 8 bottles = 32 ounces (7 to 8 bags)

Sunday: 7 to 8 bottles = 32 ounces (7 to 8 bags)

Monday: 5 to 6 bottles = 24 ounces (5 to 6 bags)

Total: 25 bags of milk (holy crap, that's 100 ounces of milk)

Wow.  Well, I also think that I'm going to need to pick up on pumping more at home.  I was thinking about adding a pumping session at 10pm, if she doesn't eat then.  Some nights she does and some nights she doesn't.  But if I pump at 10pm, then I will get some extra ounces to bank for the trip.

Re-reading this email now, brings back the stress that I had when I wrote this email.

I found myself, every day, counting the milk bags that I have in my freezer.  I don't know what's different this time around or what I'm not doing that I did with Coen, but I just don't feel like I'm producing as much milk as I was when I had Coen.  Maybe it will pick up here in the next few months when she starts eating solids and I continue to pump, as I have.  That will allow for more milk to be banked and less to be eaten, but still.  So, every day, I find that I'm about 5 to 7 bags short of my 25 bags (to give to my parents) for this trip.  I realize that I have time to produce this stock that I need, but it still stresses me out that I don't have it RIGHT NOW.

It will come together.

While I'm there, I plan on donating my milk to another mother down there that I've been in contact with.  It feels really great to do this but then I have to remember that I'm not bringing that milk back.  Which means that I actually have to have 29 bags of milk to have ready before we leave on our trip.  I can do this.  I will do this.  Just stressful to think about now.

I keep telling myself that we will have a great time.  The kids will have a great time and we will all survive.

We are basically calling this our 9 year wedding anniversary trip, because we are celebrating 9 years this year.  Seems sort of weird to ring in 9 years with such a bang but we're doing it.  We plan to eat our hearts out, drink multiple adult beverages and sleep in.  We plan to have a great time and we will.  We will miss our kids like crazy and I will hate my pump to death, but we will have a great time.

We're going to Florida.

We're going to Florida, without the kids.

I get to see the ocean and put my feet in the sand.  This is going to be awesome.

You know the last time that we went on vacation without anyone else tagging along?  Our honeymoon.

We're going to have a great time in Florida.

A great time.