Skip to main content

say no

Being an adult can really get you down sometimes.  Especially when you are just forced to spend money that is completely outside of your means and then before you know it, you're scrounging around for every penny possible to make ends meet.

We live pretty comfortably.  We spend what we need to spend, we can be really thrifty and when we want to do something special for our family or our house, we plan and then we spend.  Sometimes (or some months) get a little out of control and force us to spend outside of our normal budget and while we make do, it hurts.  When you do this several months in a row, it begins to really sting.

Just in the last month, we've been to 3 weddings.  Weddings, might be the death of our bank account.  Two years ago we were invited to 13 weddings, last year we were invited to 9 weddings (and one of them I was in) and this year we're invited to 5 weddings (and one of them S. was the Best Man).  Between attending a shower or helping to host any pre-wedding parties, getting the attire for the day of, spending money on a gift and then potentially traveling to a wedding, it can get very very expensive.  In the last month, we were included in 3 weddings, including the one that my husband was a best man.  In this month alone, we've spent well over $700 on those three weddings.

Insane.

We love our friends, we love sharing in their special day, we love showering them with gifts as they did when we were married 8 years ago, but boy does it take a toll on your pocket. And how do you say no to a wedding?

In planning our budget for our current family, we do fairly well.  We have two functioning cars, we have a nice house, we've done some simple updates to our house to make it even nicer, we have good jobs and we do pretty well. When we think about our future and the addition of another baby, we begin to feel a little stressed.  We know that we'll survive but it's still another being that will need things that we will have to find money to afford.

The most frustrating thing about worrying about money and being an adult, is seeing how others spend money.  That, my friend, can really get you down.

I have thought time and time again that in order to fix our feeling of over-spending and never having enough, that we just have to learn how to say no.  Seems silly to be in our 30s and refusing to do something because we want to hold onto our budget a little tighter... but it's reality.

We say yes to a lot of things.  We rarely say no, because we like to be social and we don't really do anything that is crazy extravagant, anyway.  So yes just always seems to be the response.  Don't get me wrong, we say no a lot too, but not because we don't have the money in our fun funds... but because we have a conflict.

Some day these worries will become miniscule because we will soon be running out of time to do things that we used to do (like attend weddings) and we won't have to worry about money as much because we will be home enjoying our family.  But right now, they are putting us under some stress.

Comments

Mrs.Joe said…
Weddings kill us too. We aren't dirt poor, but our accounts are not as well padded as our friends' and it gets us down sometimes too. Its hard for us to say no - but we did turn down a wedding this month (one of three) simply because it just wasn't in our budget and the invite was last minute. I hear ya sister!
Sassytimes said…
I'm not good at saying No either...really, is anyone? Our problem is baby showers...I have SO many! So, that's a gift for the shower, a gift when you go SEE the baby, a nice meal to take them after they are home...it adds up! I feel really bad, but I've started saying No lately to taking meals to people I barely know. It's more of a time thing to me...I barely have time to cook my own family dinner and then I am stressing out over making a really nice meal for someone I barely know? I need to stop getting myself into these situations... Easier said than done, right? I feel mean and it bothers me, but I'm so stressed running around with 3 kids in tow to grocery shop for others and trying to cook 2 meals some days. It's tough. :(
M said…
I fail at saying no... I want to do everything which leads me to never being home and then I am stressed about spending money and not having free time to just enjoy my life... I am lucky I am married to a planner and a financial smarty because I would be broke if I was in charge of the finances!

Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

Starting here..

I know that I haven't really updated this in a long while. I apologize. In the moments it was hard enough to survive, let alone write about it or find time to write about it.

With that said, I've told people over and over again that I'm going to write again, just not sure where to start.
So, today, I'm starting here.
My mom is terminal.  
Words that I cannot believe have to leave my mouth or my fingers.
She's been battling Ovarian Cancer for well over 10 years and this last year or 8 months+ have been just the worst.  Her body is being consumed by cancer and with every day that passes we are just another closer to losing her.
She's fought this whole time and continues to beat the odds that the doctors have placed before her. She's set goals and surpassed them and when the doctors say something, it's like she mentally tells herself that it's just NOT going to happen and she flies by those measurable items.
She's been a rock star and I have known …