Skip to main content

at first glance...

I was just glancing through some photos on Pinterest that were labor & delivery related and just thinking about going through that again brought me right back to this moment.  The moment that we didn't get to put on film, but the moment of meeting Coen for the first time. 

He arrived and I was told that he would either not be crying or that it would be a minute before he would cry.  They didn't want him to cry right away because of the meconium that was released in utero.

Delivery was all so surreal.  I mean, it was super fast, to begin with because I went from calmly laboring in a nice birthing suite to being shaved, covered with a face mask and then whisked away to the OR.  But getting in there, getting him out and getting stitched up seem to take no time at all. 

As Coen arrived, what they had prepped me for, was what happened.  Listening and waiting for his cry seem to take forever and when it happened it was the sweetest and most painful thing I had ever heard.  I mean, we had waited so long to hear that cry and before we knew it, it was there.... right in our ears.

I was strapped to the table and S was able to pop up and down like a ground hog over the curtain to see what was going on and while he saw more than he had thought he would, he was into it and not bothered by what was out there.

After the cry, a few comments from my doctor about what was going on, and Sean going to see Coen in the delivery room, the next thing I know that the nursery nurse was walking by with him for us to meet for the first time. 

Of course he was so amazingly beautiful, at first glance, but as I think about that moment now... it's as if I knew exactly what he was going to look like and he was exactly as I pictured.  Maybe that's just the mommy-goggles talking, but seriously.  You look at a face that you have hoped for, for so long, and when he's right there in front of you, you can't help but think.... "Well, there you are.  I've been waiting on you."

As if you had known each other before and were just seeing each other again after a long pause.


After 4 hours of me resting after my surgery and them confirming that Coen was okay and everything was healthy with him, they brought him into the room for us to meet once again and hold him for the first time.  S. got to spend some quality time with Coen in the nursery while the monitored him and watched for respiratory issues, but holding him didn't happen until we were all together and it was almost 4 hours later.

These moments I'll never forget (and thanks for our camera, I'll never be able to forget) the first moments that we got to spend time with Coen and just stare at every inch of him... just watching his every move.


As his first birthday approaches, I get so emotional about how things have changed over the last year and how much more we love him today than we did the day that he arrived.  He's taken us by complete surprise and shown us love that never thought would be possible to be shown from such a little being.  But everyday, we just fall in love with him all over again because of the things that he does that remind us of how hard and how much we wanted him in our lives.

I cannot believe that our first glance was over 10 months ago.  10 months!


Erin said…
It's crazy the things that take us back to the day you first meet your child. It's such a miraculous moment. Then to realize how quickly time flies following that moment is itself a miracle. Lovely post today.

Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

clomid vs. follistim

(IUI #4)

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "letters, 1", stating:

"what are the statistics on follistim v. clomid or other oral egg-enhancing drugs?"

Before I responded, I went on just to make sure I knew what I was talking about.  {Nothing like going through a medical procedure, thinking you know everything and then letting an Anonymous comment send me off my track. ha!}

Disclaimer: I'm not a dr. nor do I want to be a dr.  This is what I understand to be the difference.  This isn't fact, other than the links I'm posting, it's just my understanding.  Please DO NOT take my words for fact.

This is what I knew before I did the research:

Both Clomid and Follistim are ovary stimulating drugs that tell your ovaries to produce eggs.  They are both in the same in that aspect of things.  The physical difference is that Clomid is in pill form and taken orally.  Follistim is powder to liquid that is administrated by a pen/shot. 

From thi…