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Hate

Hate's a strong word, but I'm going to use it for this knowing that it's a strong word, just to get my point across.
  • I hate comparing babies to other babies.  It's not apples to apples.  It's not cut and dry, it's very different from one to the next and truly there is just no comparison.
    • My family is really tall, well taller than average, let's say....  I'm 5'7'' and I'm the runt.  My sister is 5'10'', my brother is 6'5'', my mom is 5'8'', my dad is 6' and my uncles (on my mom's side) are all about 6' or much taller.  We have a tall family.  That's not to mention my husband's side, either.  From a male perspective, he's the runt of his family and he's 6'4''.  What I'm trying to say is that if your family's tallest person is barely 5'10'', genically, we cannot even compare our babies because they won't be close in height, ever.
    • Weight is another thing that people like to compare with babies.  Coen hasn't been to the doctor for 2 months.  He went at 6 months and he not scheduled to go again until 9 months.  I do have a scale at home, however, I'm not worried about his weight gain.  I know that he's eating (good lord, he's eating us out of the house on most days) and I know that he's growing out of clothes and into bigger clothes.  If he wasn't doing those things and I didn't feel like I was carrying a monster around in his car seat, I would be worried, but he's doing those things, and gaining weight.  What weight?  I don't know, but we'll find out in 1 month!  When that happens, I'll let you know what he weighs so you can feel better about comparing.
    • Teeth.  Seriously, I've learned if nothing else is similar, the teeth thing will be the one thing that is just something you can NEVER ever compare.  I have friends who have 12 to 18 month olds with 1 to 3 teeth and I have friends with babies that are 4 to 8 months with 4 to 7 teeth.  You just never know how they will come in and when.  Yes, Coen has thrived in this area with 6 teeth before he was 8 months, but there is no comparison there, so please stop.
    • Crawling.  Yes, Coen crawls.  He does an army crawl, he gets up on his hands and knees and rocks around, and he can even do a downward dog (yoga pose).  Is it a full out crawl? No.  Can he get from one end of the room to the other by himself?  Yes.  Am I worried that a full out crawl is not in his future? No.  Do I care if your son can full out crawl and he's 2 months younger?  No.  Is his army crawl fast?  Yes.  Can you leave him on the blanket and hope he stays in one spot?  No.  He's fast and will be gone in a flash!  Will a crawl happen soon?  Who knows.  I'm not worried.
Maybe it's the only way that people know how to make conversations about babies, and maybe they aren't comparing but just asking to know.  But 9 times out of 10, the people that are asking are either mother's or grandmothers of babies that are close in age to Coen and they are asking to compare.  Do they get the answers they want from me to help with their comparison?  No.  I don't feed into the madness.  Honestly, if I could share a story about Coen without someone chiming in with, " well, my baby does this... or my baby did that.... or my grandson has this..." then I'd be a happy camper, but that's never going to stop.

Just because they'll never stop doesn't mean that I will stop hating it.

Seriously though.  My sister brought up a good point.  As adults, we do not compare ourselves to another adult as far as our diet, our teeth, our weight or how we walk.  It's just not comparable.  We are all indiviuals, growing and doing our own thing. 

So please, stop comparing.  Please.

Comments

Lyndz said…
I couldn't agree more! My husband's cousin and I were due on the same day! My baby was born at 37wks 3days and her baby was overdue. Let the comparing begin! I feel like we are in constant competition! It is awful, to the point that I don't want to be around anyone who tries to play the game! ICK! As a person who studied child development I know that no two babies are the same, but trying to convey that is impossible!
the grumbles said…
baby comparisons are just, ugh. i genuinely think it's just because people have nothing else to talk about. yet another reason i avoid talking to strangers at all costs.

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