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scare

I know that I've been very open with you about everything that deals with our family journey.

Well.  Now, being a mom, I'm faced with new obstacles.

I'm not dealing with infertility again, I don't think.  It's too early to tell, really.  But I faced with a cycle that showed up too early, in my opinion (at 3ish months) and now a cycle that isn't really reliable.  So much so that I took a pregnancy test the other day just to confirm that we weren't pregnant, again.

I mean, we have said that we would be happy to welcome another baby in a year, but I didn't know how quickly that would really happen.  Plus, after years and years of having a cycle that appeared like clock work, when it doesn't you automatically think that you're also going to get a positive pregnancy test.

Little did I know that your cycle, while breastfeeding, can be very fickle and completely unreliable.

Great.

So, who knows how things will play out.  I know that we wouldn't be upset if we were pregnant now, I just know that it would go against my Dr.'s wishes of waiting for 6 months.

Now knowing that we aren't... we're going to try very hard to wait out another 2 months before we really let our guard down.

We had said from the get go, that we wouldn't protect and we wouldn't prevent, but we weren't going to try.  We were just going to let it ride and see what would happen.

Nothing like scaring the bajesus out of us.  I mean, we're ready, but not quiet.

In related news, while I did say that we are going to ride out the next two months and hope we make it... I also wanted to give myself a weight goal to reach before we really got on the wagon again.  I know.  Lose weight before you gain it again... Who does that?  Well.  I know that it seems crazy, but it would just make me feel better.  I haven't gotten back on the work out wagon yet either.  I'm going to do it gradually so that I don't hurt my supply again.

Stay tuned for more...

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