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Fail.

The truth?  Alright... hold onto your seats.

I'm lazy. 

I'm forgetful. 

I always am late and rarely on time for anything.

I procrastinate.

I make piles of junk.

I might be on the verge of a pack-rat.

I like to collect things.

I hold onto things, thinking I'll do something with them someday.  When in reality, I have no idea when that someday will come.

I also hold onto things that have sentimental value.  Sometimes, it's the silliest thing, but it means something to me, so I keep it.

I'm selfish.

I'm a tight-wad.

I can be a mooch.

I don't buy things for full price.

When I shop, I go right for the sale rack.  If I don't find anything there, I usually leave.

I like to spend money on other people, but sometimes (and most of the time) we just don't.

I absolutely hate to clean.

I do clean, though.  Just on my own schedule.

I do the laundry.  Just not very quickly.

At any given point in the week, you could come to our house and find 1, if not 3 laundry baskets full of clean laundry.  Not to mention the 3 divided basket in my bathroom, full of dirty laundry.  It's insane.

I enjoy doing the laundry, I just don't make time to do it.

I run out of time each day. 

I always have a list of things that I need to do and I almost never check everything off.

I do a lot of things on my own schedule and I think that goes back to the fact that I procrastinate.

I used to be very domestic.

I used to enjoy cleaning and taking the time to do an overhaul of the house.

We used to have time, and it's not just because we have Coen.

We didn't have time before.

I struggle with how to overcome these things.

I make lists.

If I don't have a list or a note about something, I typically forget about it and don't do it.

I hate forgetting things, but I do it ALL the time.




I know what you're thinking.  This sort of stress builds when you have a child because all you want to do when you come home from work is spend time with them.  Who cares about the other things!?  They'll get done.  Maybe not today or this week or this month, but they will get done.

The time you have with your baby right now is SO precious.  Don't waste this time folding clothes, doing laundry or cleaning the toilets.  Just spend it with your baby.  If you don't do it now, you won't get it back and then you'll regret not doing it.

This sounds so easy and so flippin' sweet but then when your house starts to become a total wreck and it starts to stress your spouse out then... well, it starts to stress you out too.

I don't know how to make it better.

I printed some sample cleaning lists to post on our white board to see if that would help to encourage us me to do things daily without much prompting.  Who knows if they'll work, but it's worth a try, right?

For crying out loud, somethings got to give...

Not to mention the fact that we are very busy people. 

We both work full-time jobs, my husband coaches football and is very active at his school with activities and events that fall after school hours. 

We have family close that we enjoy spending time with and seeing often.  And we do.

We also have several groups of friends that we see quite frequently and because of all these things, we just run out of time and we're not home to do things that need to get done.  We push them off and then it gets to a point where they just never get done.




The other day I was reading this post about her confessions.  True or not.  I read along thinking, "YES, this is my problem."  I absolutely suck at being a wife.  I'm not a good wife.  I've never been and now.... well, I'm completely head-over-heels in love with my baby boy, which makes me even worse of a wife!

I freaking rock-the-socks-off of motherhood.  I know what to do, when to do it and how to fix it at all times.  I never once feel like I'm second guessing what I'm doing for Coen.

Wife-life (on the other hand) = Fail.

This stresses me out.

I don't want to be a bad wife.  And I don't know that I am doing it intentionally but it's happening.

I'm failing.  Totally sucking.

I cannot get anything done for us or for our house and in-return, it hurts my wife-life.

I feel like a failure.

All I want to do is care for my baby and have a happy family.

But when I'm not pulling my own weight, I don't make the house happy or my spouse.

Sucks.

Just sucks.




My (hopeful) solution is to stop doing something every minute of every day.  This weekend will be my first attempt at doing this.

I'm not going to watch the OSU game.  I don't even want to think abou tthe OSU game.  I don't want to tailgate, I don't want to go somewhere, I don't want to have people over and I don't want to watch it.

I just want to be home.  I don't want to do anything but be home. 

Don't get me wrong.  I love doing all of those things, but there comes a time when you just have to step away and let that crap stuff pass you by.

Hopefully this is one step in the right direction to helping us me get some things done and not be so stressed about it.

We'll see.




Gah.

Happy Friday.

Comments

Allison said…
I think you might be my long lost twin sister. Every single point you made, I found myself nodding. And you're right--at some point you have to give in and do some work around the house. It didn't get easier for us until E was a little older and could help or could sit and color for a bit while we did cleaning. We found that Saturday mornings work well to getting the kitchen back to a good place after a hectic week, clean the bathrooms (never very well...and still not nearly as often as we should), and maybe vacuum. E likes to help with the vacuum, too. Do our sheets get changed like they should? Nope. Do we dust more than once every couple of months (if that)? Nope. Does it stress me out? Yep. But we've found a place where we aren't stressed out enough to get in the way of our daily life if we just keep up on a few things. It helps a lot that DH is helpful with things. If I start a load of laundry, he'll come down with me after E is in bed and help me fold (and we leave it in the basement and find ourselves getting dressed down there most mornings).

I'm not giving advice because I don't have any. I hope you can find a solution that works for you to find a balance.
Liz said…
(((hugs))) It's rough. It's not easy. I will say for me, the best way to get things done in the house is to send DH and DD out of the house. Or to take a day off work (or even a 1/2 day) and send them to work and the sitter's. I feel guilty being home without my daughter, but after having a clean house and clean clothes, it makes up for it :)
the grumbles said…
I get it, I really really get it. The feelings. As for the cleaning and "getting stuff done" part my favorite trick is to send the boys out for a walk or an errand. They get cool man bonding time. I get to run around being ultra productive. It's totally refreshing.
Abi said…
Wow. This is me.

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