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My first day back is going very well.  That's not to mention what happened this morning.

I was a mess.

I cried.

I cried while nursing him for the last time at home.

I cried when my husband was goosing me along to get out the door.

I cried while following my husband to the sitter (just temporary while my husband is at football practice).

I cried as I was kissing Coen and tell him that I love him.

I cried as I said goodbye.

And I cried on my way to work.

I thought I was good.  I was cranking through emails and doing great.

Then I went to pump for the first time and as I was watching a video of him and looking at his pictures, I starte to cry again.

Luckily, today my husband was able to bring him down to my office so that I could nurse him at my lunch break.  That was extra special but as that starts to not be done, it will make my day away from him a lot harded.

He's such a sweet baby and my husband was all jazzed that when he went to the sitter to pick him up that he locked eyes will him a laughed as he greeted him.  So sweet.  I was hoping for the same reaction but he was just more intersted in eating than smiling.  That's good enough for me.

Today has been rough, but it will get better.  I'm reminded of this by all of my sweet friends that have babies and are working mothers.  It will get easier.


Tina said…
aw, hugs!!! the first week is so.very.hard. it will get better--hang in there!
Leah said…
It absolutely will,but just remember that no matter how you're feeling is completely acceptable.
Sassytimes said…
Awe, hugs! It will get a little better...I still cry sometimes when I have to leave my girls for work - and they are with Daddy. It just kills me sometimes to have to leave them and not enjoy every single moment with them. It's a natural feeling though, so cry it out. ;)
Dre said…
You are almost through the hardest day, trust me. I can't believe your leave is up already. I had longer with my first than with my second fella, and it was awful to go back! But I "ditto" everyone else... it gets easier. There will be days that suck, but you will make the transition just fine. It makes your time with him all the more sweet.
Allison said…
((HUGS)) It is hard and it will get better. It'll become more routine and you'll realize how much he loves the sitter and that NO ONE will ever replace mommy. Don't forget that.

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