Skip to main content

today

My first day back is going very well.  That's not to mention what happened this morning.

I was a mess.

I cried.

I cried while nursing him for the last time at home.

I cried when my husband was goosing me along to get out the door.

I cried while following my husband to the sitter (just temporary while my husband is at football practice).

I cried as I was kissing Coen and tell him that I love him.

I cried as I said goodbye.

And I cried on my way to work.

I thought I was good.  I was cranking through emails and doing great.

Then I went to pump for the first time and as I was watching a video of him and looking at his pictures, I starte to cry again.

Luckily, today my husband was able to bring him down to my office so that I could nurse him at my lunch break.  That was extra special but as that starts to not be done, it will make my day away from him a lot harded.

He's such a sweet baby and my husband was all jazzed that when he went to the sitter to pick him up that he locked eyes will him a laughed as he greeted him.  So sweet.  I was hoping for the same reaction but he was just more intersted in eating than smiling.  That's good enough for me.

Today has been rough, but it will get better.  I'm reminded of this by all of my sweet friends that have babies and are working mothers.  It will get easier.

Comments

Tina said…
aw, hugs!!! the first week is so.very.hard. it will get better--hang in there!
Leah said…
It absolutely will,but just remember that no matter how you're feeling is completely acceptable.
Sassytimes said…
Awe, hugs! It will get a little better...I still cry sometimes when I have to leave my girls for work - and they are with Daddy. It just kills me sometimes to have to leave them and not enjoy every single moment with them. It's a natural feeling though, so cry it out. ;)
Dre said…
You are almost through the hardest day, trust me. I can't believe your leave is up already. I had longer with my first than with my second fella, and it was awful to go back! But I "ditto" everyone else... it gets easier. There will be days that suck, but you will make the transition just fine. It makes your time with him all the more sweet.
Allison said…
((HUGS)) It is hard and it will get better. It'll become more routine and you'll realize how much he loves the sitter and that NO ONE will ever replace mommy. Don't forget that.

Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

clomid vs. follistim

(IUI #4)

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "letters, 1", stating:

"what are the statistics on follistim v. clomid or other oral egg-enhancing drugs?"

Before I responded, I went on webmd.com just to make sure I knew what I was talking about.  {Nothing like going through a medical procedure, thinking you know everything and then letting an Anonymous comment send me off my track. ha!}

Disclaimer: I'm not a dr. nor do I want to be a dr.  This is what I understand to be the difference.  This isn't fact, other than the links I'm posting, it's just my understanding.  Please DO NOT take my words for fact.

This is what I knew before I did the research:

Both Clomid and Follistim are ovary stimulating drugs that tell your ovaries to produce eggs.  They are both in the same in that aspect of things.  The physical difference is that Clomid is in pill form and taken orally.  Follistim is powder to liquid that is administrated by a pen/shot. 

From thi…