Skip to main content

Sprout | 2 days

While holding a 9 month old this morning at my desk (because her grandma was coming to pick her up and not there yet...), I had her sitting on my non-existent lap.  I was surrounded by her mom, another co-worker and the owner of the company.

These are the comments I got, in under 5 minutes of having her in my arms...

Mom talking to baby: "She's got a baby in her belly.  Find the baby.  Where's the baby?"

Owner, shouting across the hallway to me: "This is how it's going to be for the next 9 years... you ready?"

Co-worker, who is younger than me and while I ADORE her... I was sad to have her comment hit a nerve to day too.... She says to me, just as the baby leans to grab something on my desk while "sitting" on my lap: "Oh, first time mom FAIL."  Made me feel like a failure and I hadn't even had a chance to prove myself yet.  Dammit.  Oh well, just in good humor, right?

- - - - - - - - -

I know that I'm just a hormonal bitch right now.  I know that none of these comments should mean anything to me and I know these things and comments won't stop.  But seriously.  GAH!  I also know that once Sprout is here they will only get worse, but I'm over my max for today and it's only 9:31am.

- - - - - - - - -

In other news, I'm not as grumpy today as I have been in the last few days.  Yesterday when I was at Wal-mart, I was wondering why so many people were there, why it was so loud, why there were about 100 too many kids there and why some people chose to even reproduce... Then it hit me.  It was the first of the month!  I was AMAZED at the outcome this month and the cashier lady was hilarious about it.  The most frustrating part about the first of the month and the government assisted programs for single parents/mom's... are the people that use and abuse the system to the ninth degree.  It was just out of this world.  While I was a little ticked when I left because of all the juggling I had to do to just get a few things, part of me wanted to go back just to people watch.  It was something else...

- - - - - - - - - -

This week at work has been fun.  I've had my head down, I've cranked some serious projects through my desk and I feel really good about it!  I hope to have most everything wrapped up today, just in case, but you never know how things will pan out.  Have to plan like I won't be here tomorrow or next week though.  At this point, he's welcome to come at any minute. 

It's funny to think back now about how I was at 36 weeks when I thought he was going to arrive at any moment.  Boy, was I wrong.  That would've been dreamy... However, I'm glad he's baking a bit longer.

Sad news about this week is.... although the nurse practitioner was a little rough with me, she didn't encourage anything to progress further.  Not that something like that is a sure sign of labor, but you never know.

I've been sitting on the yoga/exercise ball every night, we went on a walk last night, and we're just waiting.  I was really impatient this weekend but it's really starting to sink in that I'm going pass my due date.  I will and that will be okay.  I'll be okay.

Anyway, just checking in and saying.... I'm still here with 2 days until my due date.


Sassytimes said…
People are rude...don't listen to them. I seriously can't believe you are 2 (or more) days away from holding your baby. Exciting!
Keep these updates coming.

Thinking happy wonderful thoughts for you!

Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

Starting here..

I know that I haven't really updated this in a long while. I apologize. In the moments it was hard enough to survive, let alone write about it or find time to write about it.

With that said, I've told people over and over again that I'm going to write again, just not sure where to start.
So, today, I'm starting here.
My mom is terminal.  
Words that I cannot believe have to leave my mouth or my fingers.
She's been battling Ovarian Cancer for well over 10 years and this last year or 8 months+ have been just the worst.  Her body is being consumed by cancer and with every day that passes we are just another closer to losing her.
She's fought this whole time and continues to beat the odds that the doctors have placed before her. She's set goals and surpassed them and when the doctors say something, it's like she mentally tells herself that it's just NOT going to happen and she flies by those measurable items.
She's been a rock star and I have known …