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a year

Do you watch their show on E?  If you haven't, it's basically about their life as busy professionals living in different cities, but the biggest variable that they talk about is infertility.  While I get they are struggling, I don't like they put so much emphasis on "we've been trying for a year and it's just really hard".  My issue (aka: my opinion) is that it gives false hope to people that have been trying for 6 to 12 months that they are now infertile.  This isn't the case.  And, most of us don't have the funds that they do and aren't able to dive right into IUIs and IVFs.  It's just not in the budget.  While I enjoy the show, that is the only bit that just gets under my skin.

I know what infertility is like.  I know what trying for a year feels like with no positive pregnancy test.  I know what 4 years of that feels like.  I've done it.  So, in that case, I feel like I have the right to form an opinion about this.  I'm also not calling them fertile.  I do realize that they have been through the process and have had all the tests done to know that there are issues.  I just don't like how they put such emphasis "trying for only a year and being at the IVF stage."

Now, this doesn't mean that I don't want them to have success.  I absolutely do.  When I was watching the most recent episode and they were going through the whole IVF process, it was quite the emotional roller coaster for me.  Now, I haven't ever been through that process, but I could just feel what she was feeling when it was all going down.  The things our bodies have to go through to make this happen is just crazy.  And the fact that it worked for them made me so happy.  I think my problem is Giuliana, while cute and funny sort of drives me crazy.  And Bill, well he just puts up with it and while it's really sweet sometimes, he's too much to handle other times.  I don't know.  Again, just my opinion.

If you watched the last episode, did you see the preview for the upcoming shows?  Holy bologna!  I don't know what's going on... if it's just drama or if there really is something that goes wrong.  Either way, I don't think that I can watch much more of it.  It's just too real for me and if there are complications and things, I just don't think that I'm ready to watch that sort of thing play out for another person.  I know it's real.  I know it happens.  I just don't need to relive it right now.  I'm trying to stay peaceful, stress free, calm and positive.  Just watching those previews made everything jump a little bit and I didn't like it.  So, for now, I'm pulling away.  I cannot watch it.  It's just too much.


molly said…
I watch the show now that we have cable. I follow her on Twitter and she actually miscarried the baby. She announced it on E a couple of weeks ago. So sad :(
Josey said…
Okay...I have a few thoughts on this. Please bear with me.

1) If you can't handle sadness or complications right now, definitely quit watching now. *SPOILER ALERT*

- but she suffers a m/c.

2) Maybe it's BECAUSE of their greater financial resources that they knew after "only" a year that they were at the IVF stage. Be careful to keep in mind that you have no idea what their exact diagnosis was, and if you were in Giuliana's shoes, you wouldn't want people to assume they knew why you were making the jump to IVF so quickly.

3) Honestly, the divide in the IF world drives me nuts... of newbies unsure if their fears and sadness are validated b/c they have longers IFers telling them that they haven't waited THAT long... of people who've tried a year or two and it's still not working but who maybe haven't gone the ART route yet and feel like others think they haven't "truly" suffered... of people who've tried for many years and most likely suffered from miscarriages and the like after IUI or IVF... I just don't get why people who have suffered "longer" or "more" feel okay about telling others that they don't know what true pain in the IF world is. If their doctors ran the tests and declared her IF, that's the end of the story for me. All she needs is SUPPORT in this crazy, sad, scary IF world that we're all stuck in - just like any other IFer whose blog you follow.

OK, rant over. Please don't take this the wrong way Jill - I know you've been through a lot... just wanted to give my two cents on the subject, b/c this obviously touched a nerve with me, maybe b/c at "only" 7 months of TTC we were declared IF, so I was thrown into this world before I ever wanted to be. Now at 15 months of trying, I'm still miserable and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're all in this together, and I pray every day that we'll all get our babies someday.
Jill said…
Josey, All of what I wrote was my opinion, end of story. I didn't need a rebuttle, but I read it and get it. I just think that celebrities jump quickly through hoops because they can and they'll pay for it. It's nothing like a regular Joe Blow... you know? Thanks for chiming in.
christina said…
I understand how you feel. I actually really like the show BECAUSE it's shedding a light on infertility. She even mentions how she knows it is such a taboo subject and that she's italian and everyone pops out babies left and right in her family. I can relate to that with my entire mexican family having zero trouble conceiving.

That said, I do understand that it's hard to watch and not get frustrated when you've tried for so long and don't necessarily have those same resources to jump right from one hoop to the next. We, too, paid OOP for every single thing related to IF, and we saved for a full year preparing for IVF so that we wouldn't have to pull from savings. By some miracle, we got pregnant without having to do IVF, but when you can't readily jump from IUIs to IVFs without much thought, it's incredibly frustrating.

I guess for me, I just remember back to the first and second year of ttc. It still felt like an eternity to me at the time. I remember a psychic at the 2 year mark told me that I'd have a baby in 2 years, and I was devastated to think that I'd have to wait two more long and stressful years. Turns out, she was spot on. But at that point it felt impossible to think that I could survive two more years of it.

I don't know. I don't think you should keep watching if you're trying to keep peace. They do suffer miscarriage and after having a miscarriage last year, I'm not sure I'm ready for it either. But I really like them and I appreciate what the show is doing to at least show that it's not all easy in Hollywood. All of these HW twins aren't just because these people are super fertile!

Wishing you lots of luck and support!!
I think the bitter part about this for me was when I listened to an interview with her and Bill on The Ew. (I.e.: The View.)

Her doctor told her she needed to gain weight, the ladies told her she was thin... then asked her if she had gained weight... then there was awkward silence... then she was all whiney about gaining weight.

It was at that moment that I thought to myself, "Self. She's got a long way to go."

Then I removed myself from listening to the rest of the interview.
Josey said…
Ky - I totally saw that interview (random, b/c i never watch that show) - and I thought the same thing. Didn't they tell her to gain 10-15 and she had gained only 5# or something? I mean, I understand your career is about looks, but if you really wanted a child...

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