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just stings

What is a friend?



Well, Webster says this...

Wiki says a best friend is this....

And a friendship, from Wiki, is this...



To me, a friend is....


A friend is someone you talk to pretty regularly.  Like daily or weekly.

A friend is someone who cares about you and you care about them.

A friend is someone who knows what is going on with you because they have talked to you and know how you are really feeling.

A friend is a person that enjoys your company, enjoys your style, enjoys your family, and enjoys your husband.

A friend is someone who remembers your birthday, even with just a phone call.

A friend is someone who you may not have known that long, but you have a connection.

A friend is someone that might live close by or far away.  When you're friends distance doesn't matter.

A friend is someone that you send cards to for no reason.

A friend is someone that you think about when you aren't think about work or your own worries.

A friend is someone really special to you that you go out of your way to be with, spend time with, call, write, email with, and talk about when they can't be with you.

A friend should be available at the drop of a hat for a call, drink or a quick walk around the neighborhood.

A friend should want to visit or get together because they just enjoy the company.

A friend should make memories that last forever.

A friend should love their friend and show them this, without any encouragement or reminder from the other friend.  It should come naturally, because they want to.

A friend may be someone you have never met, but because they support you, care about you and show how much you mean to them, they are your friend.  Sometimes more of a friend than someone you have met.

A friend should care and show that they care.



In my mind, what a friend should do in order to be a friend...

Call.

Act interested in my life.

Be interested in sharing what's going on in their own life.

Care.

Be excited about something that you know the other would love.  Or be excited about something that they had accomplished that was really awesome.

Be sensitive in hard times and check in when you know the friend is going through something.

Be aware.

Be involved.

Ask.

Worry.

Not blow someone off, because the new life is more interesting.

They shouldn't forget.

They should remember.

They should go out of their way.

They should share things about their life.

Their feelings.

Their heartache.

Their happiness.

Their pain.

They should WANT to care.

About my pain.

My life.

My excitement.

My joy.

My feelings.

My heartache.

They shouldn't have to be asked to care.

They shouldn't have to be reminded how to be a friend.




Yes, I realize that "friends may come and go and family is forever".  But when some friends feel like family and they refuse to feel the same way, it just stings.

Comments

I've recently gone through something like this with a close friend.

I read this whole post and thought, "exactly."
Melly said…
Wow. I am speechless, sitting here with a frog in my throat. I haven't been following your blog long at all (maybe two days) but this post really hit me. I had a friend "quit me" two years ago...actually next week it will be 2 years exactly. Long story short we had been friends for 10 years, (MOH at each other's weddings) and she moved across country so my husband and I flew to visit for 8 days and on the return flight home she deleted me from her life. I arrived at the airport at home and went to call to let her know we were alive and she would not answer her phones, never to be heard from again. I think it would have been easier to get divorced than to have endured that. She was my person, and I was a dispensable nothing. It's so hard for me to really let someone in, so I tend to put my friendships all in one basket per se. To this day the wound is so fresh and I still feel so broken, but now I don't mourn for her, but for the friendship(s) that I truly wish I had. It's so difficult to find friends as an adult, or at least for me it has been. Thanks for this post, it's refreshing to know that I am not the only one even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
(nodding and agreeing the entire post)
Leah said…
Just stings means it sucks a lot. I get it. :) I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.

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