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A Day of Hope, August 19th

Thanks to a fellow blogger, I now know that this precious day exists for those that have experience loss, whether it was you, your sister, your friend or your daughter, this is a day remember those that were lost.  Thanks to A Day of Hope, for documenting this day, providing the support and the beautiful picture above.

Today, I remember my baby.

A child that we worked so hard to conceive.

A baby that we wanted so badly to meet.

A child that we will never watch grow up.

A baby that I am no longer bearing.

A child that we will never get the chance to hold or kiss.

A baby that was ours for a short time.

A child that we miss every day.

We suffered a miscarriage.  We had no control over the situation.  We are sad for our loss and while it's hard for some to understand, we do appreciate those that ask and care about what we've been through.  Not a day goes by that we don't think about our baby.  Like Leah said, we haven't forgotten.  And we won't forget.  The pain is getting easier to manage but the thought that of our baby leaving us still pains us, time and time again.  When January 16th, 2011 arrives and passes, it will be a time that we will remember again.  Our baby. 

While this is a tough subject for some to talk about, I'm not afraid to speak about my pregnancy loss.

While going through all of the emotions of saying goodbye to our child, it is very apparent that we are not alone.  We are not the only ones to have experienced this loss.  And in realizing how many people miscarriages touch, it is obvious that it actually a very common thing to happen.  The unfortunate part is that most people don't get to a point where they feel comfortable talking about it.  Also, while my body was the one to experience the physical pain of losing our baby, the emotional pain is strongly shared between both my husband and myself.  Most share sympathy with me and not as much with my husband.  He's in pain too.  He's suffering and is upset that we've had to go through another obstacle to be where we hope to be.  It's not easy watching him mourn the loss and suffer through the pain, but he is and it's our reality.

Hopefully, more people will recognize the pain we're suffering and recognize that while we aren't expecting a child, we were and it still hurts.

Today, August 19th, 2010, we remember Spud, our child.


Beth said…
I am thinking of you today, Jill. Very, very much so.

xo B
I'm Molly said…
Thinking of you. And praying for all the women who have lost a baby so dear.
Leah said…
Beautifully written Jill! I'm sad to share this with you.

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