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struggle

I know that for the most part, these questions that I have will be answered next week when I meet with my dr., but for now I'm struggling.


What are you questions?  Well, they go a little something like this...


Where am I in my cycle?

When will my period show up?

Will I get a period between my d&c and a pregnancy?

Is that possible to become pregnant right out of the gate?

Should we be protecting?

If we don't, what does that mean for a future pregnancy?

I know my dr. said that it's recommended to have 2 cycles before trying again, but if something happens between now and then that she'd be okay with it, but what does that really mean?

How soon would something happen?

Could I be pregnant again right now?

I'm taking my prenatal but should I be taking flaxseed oil too, just in case I am pregnant?

If we've tried for so long to get pregnant, why should we protect now?

What's the risk if we don't?

Since we've had the d&c, we've not stopped "trying"... Is that bad?  Good?  Should we stop?

How could I know where I am in my cycle?  Would ovulation kits work?  Would the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor work?

Am I even on a "cycle" now?

Ugh...........

Just frustrating.

I know these are all natural wonders of life after a miscarriage, but I just wanted to vocalize them because I can't stop thinking about them.  It's all of the unknown that always throws us through a loop.  Who knew that I'd be asking these questions now, but I guess the journey through infertility always has the ups and downs... This is just another hurdle that we have to jump.

Also, my clothes don't fit.

I mean, some of them do but a good majority just don't fit like they used to...  I know that I had been putting on weight between the end of weight watchers meetings, winter, getting back into running, my pregnancy and now post miscarriage.  But it's starting to become very frustrating. 

I want to run but I know how hard it's going to be to actually start doing it.  I also don't know if I'm able to run.  But my running, to be honest, is like most people's "fast walks" so I'm sure I'd be fine.  I guess I'm just using this as an excuse to not run.

Ugh...

Happy Friday.  Oh and Happy 4th of July, too!  Be safe!


Comments

Blondie said…
I hope your RE can answer all of your questions! I often feel like our RE rushes us through appointments and only half answers our questions, which is really frustrating. Hope yours can set your mind at ease!
Jill said…
Maybe I need to write about this more, but I've had a very bad experience with my RE. I also haven't been to my RE since January. And because we were able to get pregnant on our own, with out their "help" or cost, we won't be going back.

When we became pregnant, we didn't go to my RE. We went to my OB/Gyn. Then I switched OB/Gyns...

Did I talk about this already in my blog? I need to look. Maybe I need to be more clear about this.
Jill said…
Oh, but either way, I'm hoping my Ob/Gyn will help me with these answers.
Leah said…
I think that it's a good thing you put pen to pad on all of these questions and frustrations, especially for reference when speaking with your Dr.

I hope that this weekend is a great time for you to relax. {I know you just laughed at me :)} I really do mean it!
Sarah W said…
Aww... I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I know what it's like to have a million questions (although, not about this particular issue)and just hoping your doc will spend enough time with you and care enough to answer them. I hope your OB is one of the good ones.

Also, about running... starting again is so tough - even when there are no other medical issues involved. For me, the thought of just walking a few miles is much less intimidating when I haven't run in a while. So maybe try walking regularly for a while and see how it goes?

Good luck to you! (This too shall pass!)
Thoughts have been with you today. Hope all is well.

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