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I wrote this post after we found out that we were pregnant.  I didn't want to push it to the way side... So I'm going to post it anyway:

Written 05.17.10:

Surprisingly, as excited as I was to finally see the positive hpt, it scared me a little bit. Along our way through this journey, I've read about a number of women that get pregnant after years of trying only to find out it's not sticking. Or to find out that they have a blighted ovum or that they are miscarrying. I also know many women who have spread the news of a positive hpt and before they know it it's over for them.

So, when I got the positive, I was excited but very cautious about getting too excited.

It's a very weird feeling.

I want to be excited, but I find myself, not really smiling about it or talking about it much. The first week was worse than this week and granted I'm only really talking about it with my husband, I'm trying to remain calm.

Something we've been working on for 3.5 years is finally here and I can't scream from the rooftops. Not because I don't feel like it, but because I don't want to do it now and then regret it later.

I'm healthy, my husband's healthy and we're doing great. I'm just trying to not get overjoyed until we reach 8 or 10 week mark.

We did tell some friends this weekend that we don't see that often and while they were excited for me. It gave me a minute to be excited with them. However, I tried not to talk about it the rest of the weekend, just to not have that fill every conversation. And YES, it was fun to be excited for a bit!

In the first days following the positive, my husband told me that he could tell that I was just processing the information and the idea of growing a human. It's a little overwhelming and such a blessing, just need to make it through the next few weeks!

Who knew that a few weeks from then I would be here...

Try to conceive after a loss.

And now, actually being here, it seems almost intimidating compared to TTC +3.5 years.

But we're here and we're learning how to deal.

Technically, we aren't really TTC but in the same breath we aren't protecting either.  It's sort of a weird spot to be in.  My dr. said to wait 2 full cycles, but she also said that if something were to happen prior to those 2 cycles that it would be okay.

So with that said, we're taking the steps to move forward and be prepared for when a cycle might show up.  I'm getting some evening primrose oil, soy isoflavones, fertility blend for men, borrowing the clear blue fertility monitor (again), some preseed and wait a little until aunt flow arrives.  From there, we're going to start getting the boogy on.  Why wait when it took us 3.5 years for the first one.

Anyway, just wanted to keep you up to date and track where we are..


Suzy said…

I can totally relate to what you and your husband are going through.

In a nutshell we miscarried our first pregnancy in March and conceived again in April. Just remember to keep you head up and keep thinking positive thoughts!

All you need to know is that you can get pregnant and you will get pregnant again.

The man upstairs works in weird ways that we will never understand but in the end, these hard to deal with real life situations only make us stronger!

There is

Blondie said…
So sorry that you are here. It's truly unfair that so many women who have trouble getting pregnant have to then deal with loss. Thinking of you and your husband!

On an unrelated note, I love your wordie! I found out how to make one, but how to you save it and/or post it onto your blog? It's so cute!

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