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painful

Going through the emotions of a miscarriage really stink.  When I think about them on my own, I'm just apologetic because I feel like I was the reason that it failed.  It's my body and my body didn't cooperate when building this little baby.  I know it's not the case, per say.  That it takes two and that it wasn't just me, but you know what I mean...

But, viewing the emotions that husband is experiencing, through all of this, has probably been some of the hardest moments yet.

All in all, he's doing really well.  He's staying very positive and keeps me thinking positively too.  When we first found out, it was not the same though.  We were both heart broken, but I could tell he was just taking it a lot harder than he was leading on.

As the d&c process started, happened and we were healing, that was hard on the both us too but without saying much, I could tell it was just breaking him down more and more daily.

We kept and keep reminding ourselves that this is the best experience that we've had along this journey.  That we've never been this far and because of that, we have to remember how positive this has been, even though the outcome royally sucks.

Watching his emotions and the way he's mourned this whole process has been really painful.  I know it's so positive but we still have to take the time to heal and sometimes when we're doing that in our own way it's even more painful for the other person.

We do love each other and know we'll be able to accomplish another successful pregnancy on our own.  We just have to continue to heal physically and emotionally and then we'll continue on this journey...

Comments

Blue-Eyed Bride said…
praying for you, jill! i'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I think that grief and loss comes in waves. Sometimes we're just fine, other times it overtakes us.

I'm praying for you and Mr. Hope.
Blondie said…
Lots and lots of hugs, and so sorry for your loss. I'm sure the only thing harder than going through it yourself is watching your beloved DH go through it, too. As people say, this too shall pass!
Anonymous said…
my husband and i were soexcited to be pregnant after 2 years of tryng. unfortunately we lost that baby early on. but like you, we were so thankful to have gotten that far. it gave us fresh new hope. we had our first son a year later and expect another in sept. so, grieve this loss as it is devestating but have hope. it will happen for you!!!!
danielle
danielle_schipper@yahoo.com

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