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Showing posts from June, 2010

1 week post procedure

I wanted to report that 1 week post d&c (really 1 week and 3 days), that I'm feeling great.  I'm still having some things pass, but I'm virtually done bleeding and I'm very happy about that!

Hormones are still a little off and I'm still having weird food adversions/interests, but they said that would happen.

My weight is getting a little out of control but I think that is because I haven't been able to exercise for 2 weeks per the dr's request.  I'm doing a little but no running yet.  Sadly, my legs NEED some running time.  They are my weak spot and need some attention.

That's all for now...


I wrote this post after we found out that we were pregnant.  I didn't want to push it to the way side... So I'm going to post it anyway:

Written 05.17.10:

Surprisingly, as excited as I was to finally see the positive hpt, it scared me a little bit. Along our way through this journey, I've read about a number of women that get pregnant after years of trying only to find out it's not sticking. Or to find out that they have a blighted ovum or that they are miscarrying. I also know many women who have spread the news of a positive hpt and before they know it it's over for them.

So, when I got the positive, I was excited but very cautious about getting too excited.

It's a very weird feeling.

I want to be excited, but I find myself, not really smiling about it or talking about it much. The first week was worse than this week and granted I'm only really talking about it with my husband, I'm trying to remain calm.

Something we've been working on for 3.5 years is …


I was reminded of this post from one of the blogs I read.

I wanted to post it (probably) again because it's such a great bit of information....

IFComm 101

continued pain

Father's Day.

If you remember, we found out that we were pregnant the day after Mother's day.  So as much as it would've been fun to know on that day, we didn't and that was fine.  However, with Father's day approaching, I was looking forward to celebrating with S. because who doesn't love the idea of becoming a parent, right?

So, Father's day came and went.  I didn't say anything to S. because I just didn't feel like it was appropriate and it was all so fresh in our memory that it was still to painful to talk about.

The day following, I wrote S. an email that basically stated that I didn't think that Father's day and had came and gone without mentioning.  I wanted to mention it but with all the pain that I could see in his eyes and body expressions, I knew that it was best to have it go un-said.  With that, I also said that although we are parents to our little "spud" anymore, we were the best parents that he could've had. 


another year older...

Today, I am 28 years old!
Seems weird that I'm not only 2 years until I'm 30.
Our "big plans" for tonight are to spend time with family and celebrate.
We did some celebrating on Monday because my sister & her fiance were able to come but aren't available tonight.
So far, I've received some wall flower refills, new hand soap (both from bath & body), a Vera Bradley beach towel, a Vera Bradley hot iron/curling iron holder, a new running watch and salt & pepper grinders.
My mom also gave me something very special.  When I was a baby, she start hand stitching a quilt that would've been for a twin sized bed, however I actually moved to a full size bed.  So the quilt project was put on hold and never finished.  My aunt, who is a big quilter (has one of those crazy machines that does a lot of work for you) was in town in September and said that she would be willing to help my mom complete the project.  So, just a few days before my birthday, the quil…


Going through the emotions of a miscarriage really stink.  When I think about them on my own, I'm just apologetic because I feel like I was the reason that it failed.  It's my body and my body didn't cooperate when building this little baby.  I know it's not the case, per say.  That it takes two and that it wasn't just me, but you know what I mean...

But, viewing the emotions that husband is experiencing, through all of this, has probably been some of the hardest moments yet.

All in all, he's doing really well.  He's staying very positive and keeps me thinking positively too.  When we first found out, it was not the same though.  We were both heart broken, but I could tell he was just taking it a lot harder than he was leading on.

As the d&c process started, happened and we were healing, that was hard on the both us too but without saying much, I could tell it was just breaking him down more and more daily.

We kept and keep reminding ourselves that this…

the day our world flipped upside down...

Before I get started with this post, I must warn you about a few things:

1. It's probably going to be long.

2. Before I could actually start writing this, I had to remind myself that this blog is for me.  For my husband.  For documentation of our journey. It's the truth with very little fluff and I write it for us.

3. I'm not a doctor.  I'm not trying to say what I'm typing is what happens to everyone.  I'm just writing what I was told in my case of this all happening.  I'm not saying that it won't happen again and I'm not saying that I know exactly what I'm talking about.  Most of what I'm writing is coming from memory so if it's wrong, don't hold it against me.

When we first found out that we were pregnant, it was very strange for me.  After almost 4 years of trying and finally seeing a positive pregnancy test, it was almost surreal.  I had a hard time believing that it actually worked.  I mean, I knew that it had but it was just w…

More birds

I'll fill you in on more details as this week goes on, but this one in particular is just strange and I wanted to share.

So, you all remember my post about these birds, right?  Bringing us "good luck" or something?!

Well, two days before we found out that our baby didn't have a heartbeat, we ran into another bird incident.

I let T-dog outside to go potty and the next thing I know, he's in the yard, laying down and trying to eat a dead baby bird that he had found in the yard.  While he is a bird dog, I never expected to have this happen.  Immediately, I called him to the deck, washed his mouth out with the hose and put him inside.

What do you guys think this means, now?

He never consumed the bird. The bird was retrieved by my husband and dissposed of properly.

Pregnancy #1=FAIL

This is going to brief.

I found out this week that our baby didn't have a heartbeat.

It was confirmed yesterday by my dr.

I had a D&C yesterday around 4:30pm.  I arrived at 2:45pm and wasn't discharged until 10:30pm.

I'm home resting and in little pain/discomfort.

I'll write more details when I'm able, but I wanted to tell you this much so you weren't all left in the dark.

Thanks for your continued support.

We know that we didn't cause this to happen and there was nothing we could've done to prevent this.

We do know that we are excited to have been this far, we're just sad it has ended this way.  We hope to try again very soon and know that this time around we'll probably have a better chance of it working and not having to wait so long.  Or so we hope.

More to come, later...

I won!

The other day, I got an email from thebump saying to register for this great giveaway.

So, I went right to the site and submitted my response. It went a little something like this:

We plan on strolling our baby everywhere we go. Through the neighborhood, to cookouts, to the farmers market in town, to the fair, to the balloon festival, to the zoo, to grandma & grandpa's houses, around the shopping mall, the outlet malls, to friends houses, to 4th of July fireworks, to Easter egg hunts, to church, on vacation, to the beach, to the local pool and everywhere else in between.

It would be extremely useful for ANYTHING that we do!

Once I had submitted my response, I looked to see that the giveaway was ending THAT day! I thought, well with 5 pages of responses now and 24 by the end of the giveaway, what were the chances of me winning.

Well, next day, I was checking my email at home from my phone and I got a message from TheBump, which at this point wasn't very uncommon because I…


September 2006, my husband and I decided that we were done with the BC patch and every other birth control in between.  We started to tell people that asked about us having kids that we were "practicing and not protecting or preventing."

September 2007, we were full out trying.  We weren't preventing, we were bring proactive and still not having much luck.  It was the next month, November 2007, that we finally went to our OB/GYN and she said she would do as much for us as she could and code it so the insurance would cover it.  If what she could do didn't work, we'd have to move on.

September 18, 2008, was our first appointment with ORM.  We did all that we could do with my OB/GYN and it was time to move on and continue treatment with a reproductive endocrinologist.  My OB/GYN was able to do multiple progesterone tests, an HSG that showed cleared pipes, an SA test, 2 rounds of clomid with more progesterone tests, and lastly a laparoscopy for endometriosis.


first weeks

Shortly after my positive hpt, we told our family.  I know that it was a little premature, but we were excited as this was the only positive that we had ever seen and we wanted to share it with the world.  However, we knew that was not a good idea.  So we told our family.

After that happened, the questions started to pour in a bit.  "How are you feeling?", "You feeling like you have morning sickness?", "Are you going to the bathroom a lot?", "Have any headaches?", and "How's it going?"...

Well, to answer all of those questions.  I'm feeling fine.

I haven't been sick.  I can eat anything that I would normally eat, except for the things that I learned, I'm not supposed to eat and other than that, I'm peeing a lot.  I can ever take the horse pill vitamins that they are giving to me to take, with ease.

This is just about week 4.  We'll see how week 5, 6, 7 & 8 go...

More to come...

How did you tell him?

(Still on May 10, 2010): So, even though I knew I had thought of 100 ideas on how to tell my husband, those all went to hell in a handbasket when I actually got those results.

This is how it went down, all by text, of course:


Me: "It worked! Two lines means YES!"

Him: "You are kidding! :) :) That is awesome! :) Did you make a drs appointment?"

Me: "I'm not! I'm a little in shock. I'm going to call the dr now. Omg..."

Him: "This is great. We need to make a plan tonight and discuss a timeline of things we need to do."

And that's how it happened.

No cute card.

No picture from etsy that I wanted to buy and give to him with a thoughtful note and the test results.


Just a positive pregnancy test and at this point, that is all we could ask for!


If anyone has any imput on this situation, I'd LOVE to hear it.

So, I was driving to Walgreens to get the pregnancy tests, right?  I got back to the office, shoved my purchase into my purse and started to roll up my window when I saw that my window sill of my car had freshly made bird poop on it.  At first, I was like, "what the hell? how did that happen and i didn't see it?"  Well, it happened and I don't have a clue where or when but at least it was fresh. 

I leave my car unlocked, walk into the office and then notice that I actually have some over-spray on my jean jacket sleeve!  I was pissed.  While it wasn't a lot, it still happened and this was my FIRST encounter with bird poop.

So, I scrub my sleeve, grab some spray to clean my car off and come back in to do the test.

You know the rest of this day...

So, I'm talking to Mr. Hope later and mention how pissed I was about the bird poop.  He says, "Well, you know it's actually pee and poop at …

The dets...

So, if you didn't already read my previous post.....



Are you guys done screaming?  If you are, keep reading...  If not, keep it going, I can hear you and I love it!

Here's how the last month played out....

April 11, 2010, My cycle had started for the 41st time.  I was calm.  I wasn't upset.  I wasn't frustrated.  Just calm.  I knew that we had to try something and I knew it had to be different than everything else we had tried before.  I had a commenter starting to leave more and more comments and after 3 or 4, I remembered that she had trouble getting pregnant with her first and I wanted to see what worked for them. 

April 14, 2010, I went to her blog and read about Soy Isoflavones.  Granted, I didn't know much about this supplement, I just knew that based on some quick internet searches about how it has worked for others and what the different side effects were for some other women that I was going to try it.  At this point, I did…

Expected to arrive...

...sometime in January of 2011.

So happy, staying hopeful.
Photo Credit: TWIT
Thank you for your continued support, details to follow.

PLEASE NOTE: If you are friends with me on facebook, please keep this to yourselves for a while.  I have several family members and co-workers on there that I would rather not know this information quiet yet.