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Showing posts from February, 2010

help me

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I've published 559 posts on my blog and I just saw that 118 of them are infertility focused.


Small Things 153

1. Car pooling with my husband.  We used to do this a lot more but haven't done it in a while and it was nice...

2. Seeing the joy in Toby's eyes when we dropped him off for a day at my parents house.

3. Pilot Precise V5 pens in Purple.  Makes me smile so.

4. My mom buying me Gooseber.ry Patc.h items from their garage sale last weekend.

5. Having snow on the ground but making it to work without many issues.

the touch

God has a way of touching you sometimes and usually it's when you least expect it.

The owner of my company that I work for has been struggling for YEARS to get pregnant!  It took her 3 years with her first and 4 years with her second.  Her and her husband (my boss) were trying for their third and just had a failed attempt at IVF.  They did everything.  Massage, acupunture, supplements, progresterone, etc... Nothing worked and this was their last time.

They were bummed it didn't work and I was bummed for them.

She was told by her dr. after her last failed IVF that basically there is no way, NO WAY, that they would get pregnant naturally.  That on your own your body just wouldn't do it.  If it were to happen, it would have to be a complete miracle with the moon and stars aligned.

She said, "We were at a party, I didn't have a care in the world.  We put having another child behind us and we were pounding red-bull and vodka's!  We were having a great time!"


Small Things 152

1. Being able to wear jeans to work ANY day of the week.

2. Mixing my husband and I's chinese leftovers up and enjoying his general tso.

3. No makeup days.

4. Drinking cold water.

5. Getting an email from a reader who was struggling and is now pregnant.

it pays

... to compliment.

A new employee from a remote office, was in our office today and this week.  I complimented her jewelry and found out about a diamond in the rough that I didn't know ANYTHING about.

Have you ever heard of this store Sam Mo.on?

It's fabulous!

Handbags, jewelry, luggage, wallets... you name it... it's cheap! 

Check it out!

our journey

our journey

021410 - Full Flow. IUI #4 FAIL.

021310 - Spotting.

020310 - 1/2 ml of HcG Shot.

020310 - Progesterone Test - 33.2!!!!!!!!!!!!

012710 - IUI #4 at 9:00am.

012710 - Sperm Wash at 7:30am.

012610 - No Shots, No Intercourse.

012510 - 1 ml of HcG shot (active).

012410 - 125 units of Follistim (active).

012310 - Estradiol 480.

012310 - 125 units of Follistim (active am).

012310 - ultrasound and blood work.

012210 - 125 (actually 225) units of Follistim.

012110 - Estradiol 251.

012110 - 125 units of Follistim (active).

012110 - ultrasound and blood work.

012010 - 125 (actually 225) units of Follistim (active).

011910 - 75 units of Follistim @ 9:15pm (active).

011810 - 75 units of Follistim @ 8:30pm.

011710 - 75 units of Follistim @ 8:38pm.

011510 - Pick up Follistim & HcG.

011510 - AF.

122009 - Period.

111209 - Period.

102009 - AF.

092309 - AF.

082909 - House Guests Arrive.

082509 - Af is here.

073009 - 4 days late. Af arrived.

071109 - 071809 On Vacation (active EVERY day)



My husband and I live our lives together.  We're married.  That's what we do, right?

But we also have an understanding for our time away.  Whether it's out with our friends, drinks after work, babysitting, time with family, etc... whatever it is.  We do all of these things with ease.  We know that separation makes the heart grow fonder...

In the last few weeks or days, I've had this overwhelming feeling that when I'm not with my husband, I miss him dearly.  Like "brings tears to my eyes, just want to hug and kiss him" sort of missing him...

I told him that this morning because it was consuming all of my thoughts.  I mean, we're at work right now.  Something that we do every day and we've been doing for all of our lives.

I'd like to think that it's the follistim and hormones in my system that are making me all weepy...

Either way, I really do miss him.  I miss spending time with him.  I miss being close to him.  I miss his touch.  I miss h…


Don't tell my husband, but I secretly have a crush for both....

(especially about this one) Lady Gaga

and (he would agree with me on this one...) Lady Antebellum.

Lady Antebellum is coming to town and we'll be in Vermont.  We'll have to catch them on the flip side.


This is a shout out for my sister...

And her fiance!
She's known her fiance since drivers ed but they have been dating for almost 9 years.  Recently they moved in together and I like to remind people that even though they dated each other for that many years, they were only in the same state or country for 4 or so of those, 2 being while they were in high school.

They are very excited and we are all excited for them!

Congrats to PB & J!!

picture from st. patty's day 2009

my beloved

happiness, things and sweet friends

Thanks to Christina for breaking the mood and bringing some joy to this HELLISH weekend!  You're awesome!

How does this work?
1. Copy and paste the award OR save and attached the award to your blog 2. Link to the person who sent it to you 3. List 10 things that make you happy 4. Pass the aware to other bloggers, visit their blog, and let them know.

10 Things That Make Me Happy:
1. Receiving a Valentine's Day card from my husband {who always makes a big stink about how much he hates this holiday} and it says everything that I'd ever want to hear from him.  It was so nice that it sent me to tears.
2. Puppy kisses.
3. When my husband makes fun of me for something silly and we both are sent off our seats laughing.
4. Listening to a piano being played.
5. Talking to my kitty. 
6. Calling my mom on the phone.
7. My snuggie.
8. Waking up with both my dog asleep between my legs and my cat on my hip.
9. Catching an oldie but goodie movie on t.v., like Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, That Thing Y…

letters, 4

Disclaimer: This post contains the word BOOBs a LOT. Carry on.

(IUI #4)

First, one note, that I forgot to mention on some previous days...

My estradiol level was at 251 on 01.21.10 (day 7) and 480 on 01.23.10 (day 9).

Day 10 - Sunday, 01.24.10:

Follistim, 8th dosage: 125 units at 8:36pm.  I'm finally to a point where I'm VERY tired of giving myself shots.  It's not fun, my stomach is sore and I'm just not really into the whole shot idea.  Glad I'm almost done!!


Day 11 - Monday, 01.25.10:

HcG Shot, 1st dosage: 1 ml given at 9:18pm.  It was okay.  My stomach immediately felt bloated and sore.  But it's all for the better and will soon be over!


Day 12 - Tuesday, 01.26.10:

We were told that we can't be active the day prior to an IUI.

Activities: Went to a local Young Professionals group and had a really nice time!

Day 13 - Wednesday, 01.27.10:

7:30am, a collection is made by S. and dropped off to the lab.

9:00am, I go in for my IUI.

Going into t…

EtSy.LoVe of the Week (day 4) & secret

So, as I have told you before, I have a love for these knit/crocheted cowl necks that are just all over the place now.  I think they are beautiful, they look good on everyone and they go with everything.

This one I like a lot because it's a little more stiff looking but still has a bunch of flexible options.

And the options...

This came from Knittle's Shop and is just beautiful.
And now for my secret....
I have been trying to make these things for a few months now.  I took a break for a bit, but decided after I saw this creation that I too could do this!  So I'm going to give it a whirl.  If I like them and you like them, then I might make a shop of them.  And I wouldn't charge $55.00... just for the record.
That's all for now.

EtSy.LoVe of the Week (day 3)

This one is a given.

Anything that is this tiny is seriously the cutest thing ever!  Even if you don't have a little one to put it on, it's still cute!

Check out this Dr. Suess baby hat from Saturn Knit's Shop....


EtSy.LoVe of the Week (day 2)

As you can see, this is going to be an ESTY.LOVE week.  I missed too many between now and the last time that I did this so I'm making up some lost time by doing a week full... then I'll be back to once a week.

I've been browsing through and finding some beautiful pieces and just am always amazed at what people come up with.  As you have probably noticed, on the right bar, I've been adding a number of favorites to my etsy list and it just keeps growing!  I love this place.

Onto a REALLY cool and beauitful find...

This came from Poetica's Shop and isn't it just stunning!  I love teal or aqua and this accompainied with the leaves is so pretty.
Wouldn't you agree?

EtSy.LoVe of the week (day 1)

How could you NOT love this sweat shirt from Finch Design's Shop?

It looks great.

Looks comfy.

It's on sale.

It's warm.


Go and get one FAST, before they are gone!!!

letters, 3

(IUI #4)

Day 5 - Tuesday 01.19.10:

How did you feel after your 2nd dosage of Follistim (75 units)?

I felt fine. Not bloating. The headaches had faded. I didn't have any stinging in the shot zone and nothing to complain about either.

Activities: I worked all day, had happy hour with the ville ladies, and after happy hour, I came home and ran. I needed to get a run in and my husband was getting irritated that I wasn't running and he was so I just decided that after happy hour, I would go! It was great! Took Toby along and ran...

Tried to stay away from more internet reading about success rates with follistim & iui's, but gave it another try and I'm still feeling really good.


Follistim, 3rd dosage: 75 units given at 9:15pm (because I was at happy hour). The shot can be given within two hours of the first time you did the shot. Just as long as it's in the evening and within a two hour window, I'm good!

Day 6 - Wednesday 01.20.10:
How did you feel after y…

Go RED for Women

(This was sent as a nice little reminder from my YOUNG 40+ year old aunt who had a heart attack in 2008.)

Just a little reminder to ask you to wear red tomorrow, why?

• Heart disease is the leading cause of death of American women.

• More women than men die of heart disease each year.

• 35.3% of deaths in American women over the age of 20, or more than 432,000, are caused by cardiovascular disease each year.

• More than 200,000 women die each year from heart attacks- nearly five times as many women as breast cancer.

• Women are less likely than men to receive appropriate treatment after a heart attack.

• Women comprise only 27% of participants in all heart-related research studies.

• 58% of Caucasian women, 80% of African-American women, and 74% Hispanic-American women are overweight or obese.

• Women with diabetes are 2.5 times more likely to have heart attacks.

• 48% of adult women have total cholesterol of at least 200mg/dL.

• 50% of Caucasian women, 64% of African-American women, 60…

today is bad

Today, I weighed myself.

It's something that I have seen creeping back up but I didn't realize it was getting this bad.

My fat jeans haven't been comfortable for about 2 weeks.

And then today, when I weighed myself on the scale at work, it told me that I am now back to my beginning weight from when I started WW at work.  I weight 176.2 today. 

Now, to cut myself a little slack, I've been fluctuating A LOT lately.  Last week, I won the biggest loser contest for the week by being 171 and losing from the week prior.  I have been eating poorly.  And like I was telling a co-worker, it's not what I'm eating it's how much I'm eating.  We have good food in our house and we don't really have a lot of junk.  Just a few chocolates right now for Valentine's Day but nothing crazy.  We eat well, I just eat too much.  I need to cut back.

After looking back at my blog from 2008, I remembered that I was writing down my stats and my food for the week, just to he…

letters, 2

(IUI #4)

Day 2 - Saturday 01.16.10:

Activities: Sean to a Blue Jackets game, stopped by my mom's house, visited with my friend Lauren at Starbucks, Dominos for dinner and laundry at home.

Day 3 - Sunday 01.17.10:

Activities: Church with my family, lunch & ceremony after church, relaxing at home and dinner with my in-laws at our house.

Follistim, 1st dosage: 75 units given at 8:38pm. It went in fine. My husband supervised and made me a little nervous at first. No one likes shots and I especially don't like them. Now I'm having to give myself 5 shots in the next couple of weeks so it should get better soon. I bled a little when I was done with the shot but it felt fine.

Day 4 - Monday 01.18.10:

How do I feel after first dosage of Follistim (75 units)?

{written at 8:30am}I didn't feel anything. I still don't. I didn't have any pain, I didn't feel loopy, I didn't have soreness anywhere, I didn't have any bloating, lack of appetite, or back pain. And as on…

clomid vs. follistim

(IUI #4)

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "letters, 1", stating:

"what are the statistics on follistim v. clomid or other oral egg-enhancing drugs?"

Before I responded, I went on just to make sure I knew what I was talking about.  {Nothing like going through a medical procedure, thinking you know everything and then letting an Anonymous comment send me off my track. ha!}

Disclaimer: I'm not a dr. nor do I want to be a dr.  This is what I understand to be the difference.  This isn't fact, other than the links I'm posting, it's just my understanding.  Please DO NOT take my words for fact.

This is what I knew before I did the research:

Both Clomid and Follistim are ovary stimulating drugs that tell your ovaries to produce eggs.  They are both in the same in that aspect of things.  The physical difference is that Clomid is in pill form and taken orally.  Follistim is powder to liquid that is administrated by a pen/shot. 

From thi…

letters, 1

(IUI # 4)

Day 26 - Thursday 01.14.10:

Late in the day, Thursday, I started my period. It started with lower back pain earlier in the day, going into abdominal cramps and hot flashes. You know all the fun things you love and adore, right?

Not only were those things happening, but this was the 40th cycle that I was experiencing these same sort of symptoms. I was devastated, as I just wanted SOMETHING to click.

And if that wasn't bad enough, on my local nest board there were about 12 pregnancy announcements in the last week and 1/2. Not to mention the one that was made at work and she asked me to send out the announcement!!


Needless to say, it wasn't a good night.

Just before I left work that evening, I called my RE and asked about the next steps. I had to leave a VM as their office was closed.

Day 1 - Friday 01.15.10:

This is an email I sent to my husband on the morning I talked to my RE {around 8:30am} regarding our steps to moving forward. {TMI to follow in the next sent…