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does your family know?

This is something that I've been asked a lot lately, "does your family know {about your struggles, your journey, or even that you are trying}?"

Do you want to know the real answer?

Well, it's no. They don't know a thing.

Who does "family" include? Well, our immediate family {brother, sister, mom & dad}. Dh's parents, and well that's about it. It's just better in our minds that they don't know about our struggles.

Our reason, you ask? We would much rather a pregnancy be a surprise, than an "it finally happened" sort of thing. Personally, I don't want to walk around depressed knowing that they know that I'm struggling. I like to mask those things in front of my family so they don't understand the pain that comes along with this journey.

It's not that we don't want them to be apart of it but it's that we don't want them to be apart of it. Got that?

We're not being selfish. We both have outlets for talking about this aside from me and my blog. We have several close friends that know what is going on and they are there every step of the way. It's just the way we want to deal with it.

My dh feels the same way and we are completely on the same page when it comes to these conversations.

We aren't alone. We have friends that support us. We have each other and we will overcome this struggle, together!

And, when that happens, we will then let our families know.

That's the way that we are doing it. It might be wrong but who is to be the judge of that? It's working for us, so we are going to keep doing it.


SassyTimes said…
I don't think that is wrong at all. I know several people going through the same struggles and their families have no idea. It's just easier that way.
mrs.leah.maria said…
Wow. I can't believe your strength even more.
Anonymous said…
There is nothing wrong with this decision. It sounds like you & your husband are on the same page with this, and that is ALL that matters.
Kelli said…
I'm jealous. Unfortunately, there are no secrets in my family. For our last IVF, only my sister and parents knew about it, and they knew very little. When we lost the baby, I got an email from a cousin in Indiana - WHAT? How she found out I'll never know.
Jessica said…
I just found your blog through Sassytimes and I am amazed at your strength! Not that it really matters, but I agree with your position on keeping it to yourself and your close friends. You need to do what's right for you and your hubby and that's all that matters.
Good luck with everything!
Thank you for your comment today! I decided to jump on over here to check out your blog and wanted to leave you a little post! I truly hope and pray that your little miracle happens soon! I totally understand the logic of keeping IF issues private - it's much easier that way. I'm adding your blog to my list now so I can keep up!
Danica Lynn said…
I was the same way when I was trying with my ex. It's so private and the pain is so real.

I'm keeping everything crossed this year for you!!!!

Just me said…
Hi. My first time on your blog. :)

We've done something similar. Each of our parents know that we want kids and that we're having trouble getting there. His because they had trouble and we wanted the history for our RE to know. Mine because my mom is a bit nosy and asks outright.

They know that we've been tested. They don't know about the meds and IUIs over the past six months.

I don't want them to ask about it. I don't want to feel their pity. I don't want to deal with their disappointment along with my own.

We've told them that we'll let them know when there is something to know. That seems to be going pretty well so far... :)

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