Thursday, October 30, 2008

well that's just fucked up....

Look at this shit...

I think Lurking in La Vida Loca said it best... Bullshit.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

my 24...

Since we have officially finished with our 24th cycle while trying to conceive, it’s been an interesting journey but we will be happy once the journey is complete. To showcase what we’ve learned throughout this time, I’m making a list of 24 things that I’ve learned during these 24 months. These are things that I have personally learned or experienced. These things might be minuscule to you or maybe something that you have known but to me, these are just some things that I would like to share with you…

Side Note 1: My count of 24 months is from the moment that we thought we were expecting in September/October of 2006. We didn’t officially start “truly trying” until December of 2006. We had been off birth control since June of 2004 so it was pretty much fair game from that point until today. OMG, I’ve been off birth control since June of 2004, that (sort of) makes me want to cry. 4 + years without birth control and still nothing. Wow. That’s pathetic.

Side Note 2: I just wrapped up my cycle and I’m not feeling so hot. I think that I’m falling back into 4. Depression for the next couple of days… It’s just one of those weeks.

Onto the list…

Our 24 things that I (we) have learned over my (our) 24 (and counting) cycles:

24. Babies aren’t easily made.

23. Clomid doesn’t work well with my system and turns me into a angry beast. (It does work for some people, however.)

22. My friends that do end up pregnant, during the time that we’ve been trying, are not my enemies.

21. I am very happy to be married and with someone who is willing to stand by my side, always.

20. God has a timeline of when things are supposed to happen. Put it in His hands and do not try to hold onto it.

19. OB’s delivery babies and RE’s create & deposit embryos. If they are one, they don’t know much about the other.

18. The emotional roller coaster that you are on while trying to conceive, you can NEVER prepare yourself for what is to come.

17. A form of a support group is much needed during this time; message board, blog, phone a friend… something.

16. Your husband needs to know the details. Mark your house calendar for important dates, doctors visits and times when you are trying.

15. We are not the only ones that have tried and have not had success. We are not alone in this struggle.

14. Although we are suffering and hurting, we are lucky to have taken the steps that we done and had the results that we’ve had.

13. As HSG does not hurt nearly as much as some lead to believe or that some have had.

12. Dropping off an SA wasn’t as embarrassing as I was expecting.

11. Getting positive results from tests aren’t as easy to react to as you would expect.

10. Being diagnosed as “unexplained infertility” isn’t as easy to understand or be as comfortable with as I would’ve expected.

9. Getting the questions, “Any babies yet?” or “Are you pregnant, yet?” just annoy me. Doesn’t anyone take into consideration that it isn’t as easy for everyone?!?!

8. However, don’t get bent out of shape too badly over these questions. Have a quick (and somewhat) false/less detailed response to quickly shut them up or to shock them so they don’t keep asking you. This will help you with future interactions.

7. For me, it is very strange how reliable aunt flow became as the months rolled on. There hasn’t been a time where she completely let me down. She always comes when she has been expected. There was ONE month during the last 24 when she was 10 days late. Boy was that a mess. I hate her still and my hate for her has grown immensely over the last 24 months.

6. An OB will only do so much for you while conceiving is an issue. They do try and do as much for you as possible but the sooner you move onto an RE the faster you will have a more positive result or at least a plan in place to potentially create that positive result. Wasting time with an OB is typical and some will give you the option to call an RE right away. If that’s the case, JUMP ON IT!

5. As hard as this might sound and as hard as it might be, don’t act crazy around a baby that isn’t yours. Don’t hold a baby, throw your pouty bottom lip out, hold the baby close and say, “I want one”. This will make, not only the mother of the baby uncomfortable, but everyone around you ridiculously uncomfortable. I’m not talking from experience (as in I have done this) but as an on-looker, I have seen this and it’s just fucking crazy. Do NOT do this. As much as you might want said baby, this is just fucked up. Please stop doing this if you do this now, it’s not healthy.

4. Try not to pent up anger and frustration about this process. Vent to someone who will listen and give you good feedback. Keeping these things inside will hurt you and stress you out which could eventually work against you in this process. Let your husband know how he can help. Fill him in on all of the details so he is not in the dark. This isn’t all up to you, it’s a team effort. Remember that.

3. Don’t share your story of infertility with everyone. Have a selected audience. If you share this information with too many people then you will constantly have people asking you about your journey. For some you might enjoy this. For others it might be trying and it might become more work than not sharing it at all. Choose your audience wisely. Personally I would keep this information private, especially at work.

2. Do not eliminate adoption as an option. So many people are 100% against this. Unfortunately, you never know how your situation might end up. You want to have as many options as possible when dealing with your diagnosis and if the end results ends up being adoption, do it. It’s almost like a perk to fertility. Just keep an open mind and don’t forget about all of your options.

1. Stay positive. Again, as hard as this might seem, you must have a positive outlook on this whole process. It doesn’t get any easier to deal with infertility so you must remind yourself to stay positive. Vent when necessary but overall, stay strong and positive.

Monday, October 27, 2008

my new blog addition...

I have decided to add a new email address to my blog. It's purely for the purpose of my blog friends contacting me there when they have a question, want to check up on me, or have a hug that they'd like to share through email instead of by comment. It is listed in my profile and you are welcome to contact me there with anything you'd like to ask.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Music for Monday...

"Come on Get Higher" - Matt Nathanson

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and i breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe
Make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I could taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la sing sha la la la la
Whooo whooo whooo whooo whooo whooo
So come on, get higher, unloosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, unloosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong,
it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms

Friday, October 24, 2008

don't cut me off... dammit.

Warning: If you are male and reading this thread, I must warn you. I will be talking about my period. My monthly cycle. Aunt Flow. I won't be talking about the blood, tampons, pads or midol... but I will be talking about the emotional side. Sory. But, if you are still reading this and feel that you would like to read on then, read on!

In true fashion, aunt flow showed yesterday as expected. No, I wasn't really expecting her but why would she let me down now? She's been so faithful to me over the years that why would this cycle be different, right?!

On a normal cycle, I’m usually a complete bitch the week prior and during my cycle. I don’t have control of those emotions or reactions until they are here and my dh tells me to back down. Usually I can sense that something is going on but aside from that I really don’t feel like my attitude is changing until it’s brought to my attention.

This week, however was a little different. I could tell that she was approaching because I was getting my normal cramping and also severe back pain on and off until she finally showed face yesterday. But my emotions this time around seem different. I haven’t really been a complete bitch this week. I’ve actually be an emotional wreck. I’ve found myself crying on a number of occasions over things that I would NEVER typically cry over.

To give you an example of something I normally cry over… Grey’s Anatomy. There is always a scene in that show that makes me cry… or at least tear up. Last night it was when the son came into the father’s room after Karev yelled at him for not caring. Or when McDreamy gave Meredith the liver in the jar and said thank you to her for her help with the clinical trial!

However, today I found myself crying at this asshole that cut me off on a merge where I was in the right of way and he didn’t even blink an eye! I started to tear up because of that this morning. This, my blog friends, is an example of something that would NEVER make me cry. I was pissed but it was so strange how it just turned into tears all of a sudden.

I can’t wait for moments when I cry for no reason while I’m a hormonal wreck during a future pregnancy. But for right now, I don’t know I can handle these random crying episodes. It’s very strange and so not like me.

Ugh…. Some days I just hate being a woman.

The ticket search is over... thank God!!!!

This coming Saturday is the Ohio State vs. Penn State game and it is also my dh’s 31st birthday!!! In honor of his birthday I (of course) bought him a few gifts and we have a number of plans to celebrate. Growing up in my family, we always made a big deal of everyone’s birthday. We’d always go out to dinner as a family to celebrate and even now, we still do this. To Sean (my dh) this was kind of foreign. This was because in his family they just didn’t celebrate birthdays and in turn I think that Sean just doesn’t care to celebrate them. On the other hand, I like to celebrate a birthday week if not a birthday month for my birthday! I don’t usually have a countdown until my birthday but I’m always looking forward to it.

The biggest challenge for this weekend was getting tickets to the Ohio State game. It’s turned into a fairly big game for OSU and now that they have done well the last couple of weeks it’s really been pumped up by ESPN and the local sports reporters. This game has actually been picked to be the “Game Day” location this weekend. Ticket prices are anywhere from $100 to $400 a seat which is just crazy because typically you can by face value tickets ($62 - $65) from just about anyone for any other game. So because we don’t have season tickets and we have a lot of friends/vendors/co-workers that have access to tickets, I put my feelers out. Wednesday I had a pair of tickets on my desk that a co-worker wanted to sell and around 12pm I had a vendor calling me saying that he had tickets to sell too! Holy crap, things were coming together for the game and for my husband’s birthday!

Birthday’s may not of been a huge deal in his house but OSU football was. They were basically one set away from being a little over the top, as far as fans are concerned. They had a bathroom with the OSU toilet seat over, light switch plate cover and a number of other tacky over the top items that not every fan admits to owning. This weekend’s game was supposed to be the game that Sean’s brother (from VA), nephew (from VA) and dad (a hour from us) were all going to come to go to the family OSU game together. When we weren’t having luck, plans actually went to the way side. We talked to them on Monday saying, don’t worry we’ll see about another game and plan from there, this weekend isn’t looking good for tickets. Well, little did they know that Wednesday was going to be the day that flipped this week upside down.

After many phone calls, a handful of emails, a trip to the bank and confirmation from my brother in law, the plan was ON. Sean couldn’t be more excited. He lives for Ohio State and going to their games. He is a diehard fan. I, being the good wife that I am, support his mild obsession and I too support the Buckeyes. We have tickets and he’s GOING to the game ON his birthday. He’s happier than a pig in shit!!!

Oh and I wanted to show you something… his birthday gift!!!

I came up with the idea from when my dad went to the Ikea store and took a picture of these guys in the O-H-I-O formation and I turned it into this (with the help from a crafty/artsy friend with not only a steady hand but paint, paint brushes, wood glue and a table saw) “The Ultimate” OSU d├ęcor piece!!!

Happy Birthday hon, I love you!!!

Go Bucks, beat Penn State!!!!

Side Note: It's supposed to be a low of 49 degrees and potentially raining for the 8:00pm game time! Yikes! That is a true football weather!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Weight Watchers check in....

I have been doing the Weight Watchers at Work program now for 7 weeks, but with the wind storm and the first week "not counting" (according to our leader) we are on week 5. So after 6 total weigh ins but 5 that actually track loss or gain, I'm doing great!

Here's the process so far:

Starting weight: 176.4 (on 9.8.08)

Week 1: 177.0 (on 9.22.08) a gain of 0.6 pounds

Week 2: 171.2 (on 9.29.08) a loss of 5.8 pounds :)

Week 3: 170.4 (on 10.6.08) a loss of 1.2 pounds :)

Week 4: 171.6 (on 10.13.08) a gain of 0.8 pounds

Week 5: 168.4 (on 10.20.08) a loss of 3.2 pounds :)

So my current total loss is 8 pounds. That's great! I'm very happy with that and I hope to continue. We are doing this for 10 weeks and I'm hoping that everyone is able to sign up again so that we can continue our meetings at work.

Thanks again for all of your support!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

fall, fall, and more fall....

My mantel. It's go a lot going on this year. Some new additions that I need to still work on. The above seen "haunted house" picture on the right, is a picture that I made in elementary school that I need to get a shadow box frame for and hopefully that will help with the presentation of it. All in all, I'm happy with the way it turned out this year.

A closer view of my mantel. I love the little details and the way the light was hitting it this morning when I snapped these pictures!

My favorite new buy of the season, a $2.00 wreath with little candy corn looking pieces and corn stalk like filler. Very cute and it's placed around a Yankee Candle a citrus scent that I'm totally blanking on. I will soon be replacing it for one of White Barn Candles Sweet Pumpkin candles. Love that scent!!

One of two glass (candy jar) pumpkins that I refuse to fill with candy this year, so I decorated it with a wreath! Do you like it?

My 1/2 bath in with all of it's fall decor. I always decorate it since it's right off of the living room and it's a pretty neutral wall color so it blends well with all holiday decor!!!

And like any true Buckeye fan, here's our pumpkin wearing an OSU helmet... I blame this one on my dh.

Anyway, I hope you are enjoying the weather, wherever you might be. Yesterday morning it was 34 degrees outside and it was frigid. Two weeks ago it was 80 degrees... that's Ohio weather for ya!

Happy Fall!!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

jen, mama, or crispin's mama... however....

To my dear friend, Jen, Happy 30th Birthday!!!! Because we weren't able to celebrate yesterday, I thought that I would post this in hopes that you could see that I'm wishing you a very happy birthday (over the blogosphere)!!! I also encourage all of my blog friends to go over to Jen's blog, and wish her a very happy birthday as well!

You are crossing quite a milestone, today and for that, it should be recognized!!!!

To my long time friend, I hope that you do something for yourself today!!! Go to the mall, take a nap, get take out, get a new webkinz... whatever it might be... Just be sure to enjoy YOUR day!!!

Love you, Jill (& Sean)

p.s. Love this picture. I thought that it was a little more tasteful than some of the other one's I have from the touring band days... :)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

my etsy love affair...

I have expressed my love and obsession with etsy before. However, my love for the artists, crafters and quilters on this site continues to grow daily! To show you just a few of my new favorite things found on etsy, I'm going to posting them here for your viewing pleasure (and giving the seller credit by posting their site/shop information too):

1. Garden Pouch with Amy Butler's Geisha in Olive fabric and Green Moon dot fabric: girl by Aileen

2. Toliet Seat "Sweet" Reminder: decal momograms

3. Amy Butler's Red Lotus Baby Quilt: Luna by Karina Potestio

4. Wicked Candle Shoppe with Witch: Palmer Falls

5. Casserole Cover in bright cheery fabric (can be customized):
Pretty in Purple

6. Wallet in Amy Butler fabric: The Pickled Pepper

7. Tissue box cover in (my favorite) Amy Butler's Red Lotus: Head to Toe 2007

8. Alphabet Soup wall decal:

9. Round Return (custom made) Address Labels: Bohtique Shop

10. Happy Birthday Fabric Banner made with Amy Butler fabrics: Meringue Designs

11. U is for Urchin Wall Art: JennSki

12. "Blessed" Maternity T-shirt (I very much look forward to the day when I can purchase this and wear it): Flaunt it Maternity

13. (A beautiful ring made with a)Swarovski Crystal wrapped in Gold Wire: Shining Stones

14. Felt Party Pastries: Just Felt Hungry

15. Burp Clothes with Amy Butler's Geisha in Olive & Moon Dots: Jody Row

16. Guitar childs tank top: Shop Poppy Seeds

17. (fabulous) Baby Wrap Carrier in Chocolate Kleo (one size fits all):

18. ID Badge Reel with Amy Butler's Geisha in Olive(I don't use these for work but some people do and I thought this was really cute!!!): A Window into Whimsy's Shop

19. A set of 4 coasters in Amy Butler fabrics: Imk Quilts

20. A Little Wallet in Amy Butler fabric: Jenny Hofer Designs

Please be aware that if you venture onto the etsy site that you (too) might acquire an addiction for this site as well.

Happy Shopping!!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oct 15th... remember...

Please remember those who have experienced pregnancy & infant loss today.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Blogging for me has been a really nice addition to my day to day life. It gives me an outlet to vent my frustrations and feelings about our fertility issues and through other blogs, find that I’m not alone. However, over the past week I have read some of my blogs on my google reader and have felt as though, I shouldn’t base my entire blog around what we aren’t able to accomplish, but rather what we are. My focus, according to the blog title and html is that we are anxiously awaiting a pregnancy, period. Although that is a goal, it’s not the only thing that we are trying to achieve, together, in our relationship.

Many people throughout the last 24 months have naively told me to just take a step away from the situation and let it happen. Stop worrying about it and it should just work. That maybe I’m spending too much time thinking about it and I should stop. That I want this too bad that if I would just give it a break… If you aren’t trying and you think that this is (just that) easy, you are nuts! It doesn’t just happen. At the point that we are in this process and the steps that we’ve taken to get here, it’s not that easy to just put it on the back burner.

For those of us that are trying and not having success, walking away from what we want the most in life seems impossible. Looking at infertility, no matter what kind you might be facing, the emotions that you experience, (at least for me) are sort of like mourning a death.

1. Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
2. Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
3. Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
4. Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
5. Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what has happened.”

I like to think that at this point, I’m at the point of “acceptance” with the ability to change back into “depression” at any point. I find myself falling backward less and less these past few months. It’s been a good couple of months and I’m trying to stay positive and aggressive at the same time. I will become pregnant. It’s just not my time yet.

This brings me to another blog that I think also displays a good visual for infertility emotions… Jill at Desperately Seeking Spawn wrote about a question that was on the MSN board about relating music to stages of IVF. This played a little on my heart because, I love music. I’m constantly picking the words to songs that I hear and relating them to things that are going on in my life. There are several different songs that will bring me right back to a particular moment in my life, just by simply hearing a song. Just to give you a few examples that we can all relate to… Otis Redding’s, “I’ve Been Loving You” brings me right back to the moment of my husband and I dancing to this song for our first dance at our wedding reception; the song “Freshman” by The Verve Pipe, reminds me of my freshman year of high school; and the song "Fix You” by Coldplay always brings me back to all of the struggles that my husband and I have had throughout this whole experience. Music has always played a big role in my life. It’s always something that I enjoy and I don’t discriminate.

So, after reading through Rachael & Melissa’s NEW blog “Me vs. You” , it allowed me to step back and really look at our diagnosis, “unexplained infertility”. It reminded me of all the things that truly ground me, like music, my family, friends, everyday items that we all forget about, as well as the thing that should bring me back to square one. Looking at these things has allowed me to see what exactly is going on in my relationship and my life with my husband and the things that I should be most grateful for above all.

The most important thing of all is something that I knew was in the depths of my chemistry. It’s something that I grew up believing in and still do. It’s something that I’ve grown apart from throughout the last few years and it’s something that I need as a part of my life and my relationship.

So, what is it?


I typically don’t like to talk about religious beliefs or comment on them but, I am a Christian and I need my relationship with God. So I’m taking Rachael & Melissa’s advice and I’m looking at my life and all of the things that I don’t deserve and all the things that I am very much grateful and thankful for… all the things that I should hold way above the fact that I’m not pregnant.

First and foremost, I’m thankful for my family. My parents, my siblings, my husband, my in-laws, aunts, uncle and cousins. Although my distant family is not as close as we could or used to be, we are still a family and we are always there for one another. At any point I could pick up the phone and call any of them and they would take my call. They would want to know more about what’s going on and they would be interested in catching up even though it’s not necessarily on the top of their list. There are many families out there that don’t have that sort of relationship and would never know what that love and support feels like, so for that, I’m very grateful. My immediate family it tight. We do family functions together monthly if not every other week. We talk to each other all the time and we all live close together which allows us all to spend time together. It’s amazing how much you depend on your family. They are there to hold your hand through any circumstance and they always do!

I’m thankful for my husband that I don’t deserve. He stands behind me and supports no matter what. He (on occasion) thinks that I’m a little loopy and that I’m losing it which he can spot easily and he will help grab me out of the clouds and bring me back down to earth. He stays so very positive through our fertility issues and helps me stay positive and calm as well. He loves me unconditionally and that is something more than what I could ever ask for, he’s my rock.

I’m thankful for my friends. New friends, old friends, blogging friends, nestie friends, distant friends, local friends and everyone else in-between. If it weren’t for you to allow me to lean on you from time to time, I don’t know where I would be.

I’m thankful for my beautiful home.

Our two cars that run. They aren’t anything special but they get us where we need to be.

I’m thankful for my job, my husband’s job and to our employers.

I’m thankful for our animals. I’m thankful that they get along, that we are able to support them and care for them.

All things that I don’t deserve but I’m lucky and privileged to have and own.

I’m thankful the internet, computers, printers, soft keyboards, cordless mice, and zip drives.

I’m thankful for freeways, country roads, and one way streets.

I’m thankful for carpet, washing machines, dish washers, running water, and steak knives.

I’m thankful for our warm comfy bed, our ceiling fan, our double sink vanity, and for my Nikon digital camera.

I’m thankful for my clothes, t.v., shoes, stairs, coats, cell phones, and blenders.

I’m thankful for all things that have come into my life temporarily or that have come and are here to stay.

I’m thankful and grateful for my life.

In closing, I would like to wrap up by saying, I haven’t forgotten my roots, my beliefs and my surroundings. I haven’t forgotten to remember those things and be grateful for them. However, I have been wrapped up in trying to over-come “unexplained infertility” and in the mean time I feel as though it appears that we (or I) have a one track mind. In effort to show you that this is not the case, I’m going to try and be a little more diligent about posting more life related posts verses always IF or TTC related posts.

Stay tuned for what’s to come…

P.S. Thank you for your constant support!

Monday, October 6, 2008

hope this clears up some things....

Q: Why ORM and why Dr. Schmidt?

A: First, in Ohio, it’s the largest provider of these services. Their treatments, outcomes and care are unlike any other in the state. Therefore, this is the place to be. This is what they do and they will give me the end result that we are striving for.

A2: Dr. Schmidt has been THE doctor for several friends, I was referred by my OB to him and he has a great success rate.

Q: Have I heard of pre-seed?

A: Yes, I have. I just didn’t know enough about it to try it. However knowing what I know now, I’m going to stick with the Robitussin for (at least) two cycles and from there I’ll look more into the pre-seed product.

Q: Did I miss my last cycle?

A: No. It came. She was here, I just forgot to update my journey on the right as well as my post about her. That bitch just doesn’t know when to quit.

Q: What does the Robitussin do for your cervix mucus exactly?

A: As my friend put it, it’s like your cervix mucus has a cough and we need to medicate it so that it’s a little less congested. It will break it down with that it will help the swimmers get through, rather than staying thick and slowing dh’s swimmers down so much so that they could come to a halt.

Q: What’s the dosage?

A: On baby hopes they suggested that you start taking it 6 days prior to your ovulation, including the day that you ovulate. They said to take two (2) teaspoons of Robitussin or a knock off that contains guiafensin three times daily. This is what I have been doing and I’m very hopeful that our end result if much brighter this time around.

Q: Will I be going back to ORM for the ultra sound?

A: Again, I’m hopeful that the Robitussin on its own will do the trick this month. If not, I’m going to do one more month at home with the Robitussin dosage. From there, if we don’t have success which we are hoping is very unlikely… we’ll go back to ORM for the two blood tests and the ultrasound to see what the cervix mucus is doing exactly. The next two cycles I’m just taking Robitussin and praying, a lot.

If this doesn't help, please ask away and I'll do my best to answer your questions/concerns.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

12 weeks...

Can you believe that Christmas is already approaching and it only 12 weeks away?

Are you ready?

What are you going to make this year more successful?

Join simple mom and tackle this holiday season better than any other year in your past...

Ready, GO!

a classic...

At our office we have XM radio playing all day along with various other stations that we find on the internet. It plays through the entire office and we listen to just about every type of music. Just a few minutes ago a class came on and I thought that I would remind you all of the great band ABBA....

Enjoy the Waterloo by Abba...

This is a good one to whistle to...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

new addition...


Look at that?!?!

It's my new signature from my live signature. Isn't she pretty? You can get one too... go there and get one for yourself!!!