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I'm sitting at my desk right now, writing note after note, checking email after email, tying up the loose ends, making the right phone calls, reminding dh of everything that needs to happen, and starting to freak out about my surgery for tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm having my lap at 9:30am (getting there for registration at 7:30am) AND Toby (our dog) is getting neutered. It's a big day! Lots going on and I'm not going to be in control!

I've come to the conclusion, that I'm a control freak. It's been a little bug in the back of my ear for years but now, here lately, it's become VERY apparent. It's just annoying to me lately that I am that way and I can't have the control.

Like we can't get pregnant, it's something in our chemistry that just isn't clicking. "Unexplained Infertility" if you will... In my head, I think it's so basic, people who don't want to become pregnant, do and those who are trying their darnedest, can't. I want to control it but it's so far out of my hands, it frustrates the CRAP out of me.

Anyway, tomorrow, I'm going to be pretty much out of commission after my surgery because of the anesthesia. I will want to care for Toby while he's healing but I won't be able to because I'll be healing myself. I'm trying to write everything down so dh doesn't forget but I'm sure there will be something that gets away... the control freak in me is really starting to get nervous.

I'm sure everything will be fine but for now I'll be freaking.... ugh!


mrs.leah.maria said…
Hi, I just made the jump from . . . well now i can't really remember where, but I'll be thinking of you tomorrow morning!

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