Skip to main content

worry wort...

so we are on cycle 16 and we are just playing the waiting game right now (2ww). i did have another progesterone test done and everything looked good. meaning i ovulated when i was supposed to ovulate but the test doesn't give any indication of whether or not i'm actually pregnant. that part of it makes me start to worry. so i called this morning just to make sure that i was right about the information. so technically i could be pregnant right now but she said to wait out until the 35 day and then start testing... wwwahhhh? 35th day? are you serious? do you know who you are talking to? i mean seriously. i'm surprised i haven't purchased a test already. i'm always an early tester and i haven't really done it any other way. i don't think that i mentally can! i get so anxious that if i don't i begin to go a little nuts. i know that it only adds stress and that is what potentially makes your cycles fall behind but i can't help it.

i am also a little worried. my husband is going to have a semen analysis done and sent to the lab on monday. with all of my tests at a stand still for now, it just makes me a little nervous to wait for his test. i know that it could just been something simple but the unknown is a little nerve racking. at one point i would love to know the reason why were aren't able to conceive on our own and on the other hand i just don't want to know. i know for those of you who haven't experienced this, it might seem weird but when you have no control over a situation that seems so easy for most and it's your own body... it's really frustrating!

it will get better right? there will be times that i won't worry as much, right? i won't always be nuts about this and someday it will just become second nature, right? or will it get worse? will i always stress out over this? maybe it's just timing? maybe i'm pregnant right now? i guess we'll just have to cross, well cross everything... fingers, arms, legs, hair, eyes, hands, feet and everything else... and hope for the best!

coming from an hsg about two weeks ago, maybe we are luckier than we thought... =)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

that nightmare

Time is passing and permanent/next step decisions AREN'T being made about where our marriage is going.

Not because of anything other than HOPE....

Hope that these changes are real.  I can't deal with an act anymore.  I'm done with those fake attempts.  It just won't work for me.  I can't.

Hope that he really wants to change.  Because he's the only one that can make that decision for himself and not anyone else.

Hope that a new normal is really a possible option.  And not just a glimmer of something that will eventually be shattered and destroyed.

Hope that we could work through all of this and actually land on our feet.  But he has to want to do those things and my guidance won't help him.  He's got to want to do them on his own.  I can't help or ask or guide.  He has to do it.  Alone and with the help of God.

Hope that the narcissistic behaviors are being dealt with in positive ways and won't resurface.  With the help of prayer, guidance from h…

my little model...

There is a blog that I follow of a photographer that I saw at the Delaware County Fair. Her studio is near my home town and her pictures are very vibrant. I enjoy looking at different aspects of photography and I like seeing how didn’t people capture pictures and scenes… I guess you could say I’m envious.

While following her blog, I saw a post that stated Calling All Furry Friends and immediately responded. I have always wanted to have Toby get professional pictures done but I just fear that I wouldn’t pick the right person to capture his personality.

Anyway, as you can read in the link above, there were a handful of photographers at Megan Morgan’s studio and they were all going to be there just to take furry friends pictures.

Of the people that were there two have uploaded their pictures and Toby is in them!

First, Megan Morgan’s blog: Weekend Workshop

Then, Holly McCaig’s blog: Dogs Everywhere

They all captured some great pictures and I can’t wait to get my hands on them so that I …

Starting here..

I know that I haven't really updated this in a long while. I apologize. In the moments it was hard enough to survive, let alone write about it or find time to write about it.

With that said, I've told people over and over again that I'm going to write again, just not sure where to start.
So, today, I'm starting here.
My mom is terminal.  
Words that I cannot believe have to leave my mouth or my fingers.
She's been battling Ovarian Cancer for well over 10 years and this last year or 8 months+ have been just the worst.  Her body is being consumed by cancer and with every day that passes we are just another closer to losing her.
She's fought this whole time and continues to beat the odds that the doctors have placed before her. She's set goals and surpassed them and when the doctors say something, it's like she mentally tells herself that it's just NOT going to happen and she flies by those measurable items.
She's been a rock star and I have known …